Father ~ Daughter Retreat with Vision Forum

Interested in attending?  Please follow the link above to Vision Forum.


Please join us March 26 - March 28, at beautiful Callaway Gardens for our 2010 Father and Daughter retreat. Callaway© is an award-winning, 14,000-acre gardens, resort and preserve nestled in the southernmost foothills of the Appalachian Mountains, in Pine Mountain, Georgia.
Attendees will be able to enjoy The Virginia Hand Callaway Discovery Center  , Birds of Prey shows  , Cecil B. Day Butterfly Center  , John A. Sibley Horticultural Center  , Mr. Cason’s Vegetable Garden  , Callaway Brothers Azalea Bowl  , Overlook Garden   and miles of nature trails showcase the beauty of nature.
When you attend the retreat, you will enjoy accommodations in the Mountain Creek Inn with access to all the delights of Callaway Gardens. The convention center, where all events will be held, is conveniently located steps away from guest rooms, and the lovely patio area features a water garden, tables and chairs, and a coffee shop.
Some of the amenities included with your room are two double beds, a private dressing room, telephone, newspaper delivery, in-room coffee, and free admission to all the attractions. During breaks between retreat events, you can enjoy the beautiful walking trails, visit the Butterfly Center and other garden spots, and take time to visit with other attendees.
Registration includes all things necessary for a lovely picnic on the Grand Lawn followed by a delicious ice cream social, two scrumptious breakfast buffets and a noon time High Tea with out equal.

New Twist on Chore Charts

Chore charts have always seemed to have the potential for becoming messy and haven't seemed to work well for us in the past. Today, I started working on chore baskets. You need two baskets; one for chores to be done and another for chores already finished. Since I love retro ads, I decided to make each chore card using retro ads found on the Internet. Not every chore will have a good ad, so some improvisation will be necessary. It's a work in progress, but here are my cards so far. Enjoy!

Suitable Suitor

I'm mulling over a lot while working on reclaiming the upstairs study, and I would like some help from you. No, not with the work but with the "mulling" part. We've been putting a lot of thought into what constitutes a suitable suitor for a daughter. I'm not talking about your average "let's hang out at a movie or coffee shop date". I'm talking about a real suitor. Other than being a Christian and basic requirements such as that, I want something more concrete on paper. Lately, after listening to a message on CD, I've been giving a lot of thought to the idea that a man must have a vision for his life....a way in which he ministers to the body of Christ or the world...before he can ask a young lady to follow him. Agreeing to marriage, puts a young woman in a very vulnerable position; how can she be asked to follow or submit to someone who doesn't have a clue as to where they are going? Also, a suitor needs to be someone who can lead spiritually....not just someone who is spiritual, but someone who is knowledgeable and able to guide and lead his family without falling prey to heresies big or small. There is a lot more on my mind, but I want to know what's on your mind. I want to know what you think, so I can think about it as well. So, what are some of your thoughts as to what constitutes a suitable suitor?

The Family Date

Click on the link for a wonderful vintage video

Protecting Our Daughters

Please follow the link for an excellent blog on protecting our daughters.

Always Listen to Your Husband

I wish I had a scanner so that you could see for yourself the instructions my doctor wrote for me today. His number one, and he said most important, instruction for me was to always listen to my husband! Yes, you read that right, and he is a medical doctor. Let me explain.

I've been having quite a bit of foot trouble, so much so that I could not longer walk for exercise. I had an inkling as to the root cause: I am extremely flat-footed and very pigeon-toed. I had to wear corrective shoes (painful) until I was fourteen, at which point, I threw them off and walked barefoot whenever possible up until this point.

I didn't go to the doctor because I was afraid he would refer me to a podiatrist and yada, yada, yada: it would cost more money than I care to think about. I went only because my loving husband made me -- and my doctor knew it. Well, my doctor didn't refer me out, and, yes, my heel hurts so much because I'm flat-footed and because of over-use. He gave me lots of helpful instructions, etc., but the worst news that he gave me is that I should never go barefooted and that I must wear proper shoes - AT ALL TIMES. Yikes! That like being sentenced to looking nerdy the rest of my life.

You see, I have always been categorically opposed to wearing tennis shoes with skirts and dresses simply because it's more comfortable. I always felt like it was a bad testimony to look nerdy, and now I have my doctor (whose last name is Lord, ironically) ordering me to wear shoes with good support. This definitely calls for some internet research. Someone please tell me there are decent looking shoes out there for me!!! :)

19 minutes - how long working parents give their children

By BECKY BARROW, Daily Mail 23:55pm 19th July 2006

A typical working parent spends just 19 minutes a day looking after their children, official figures revealed yesterday.
The startling research shows the devastating impact that working full-time has on children who hardly see their parents.
With less than 20 minutes spent with their parents every day, this is only enough time to eat a quick breakfast together or have a couple of bed-time stories.
The Office for National Statistics looked at nearly 4,950 people over the age of 16 in Britain to find out what they do all day.
The findings make grim reading for working parents who already worry that they spend too much time at work - and too little at home.
Parents who work full-time spend just 19 minutes every day "caring for [their] own children", according to ONS's "Time Use Survey", published yesterday.
A further 16 minutes is spent looking after their children as a "secondary activity", but this means that they are doing something else - such as the weekly supermarket shop - at the same time.
The findings come at a time when record numbers of women are working as huge mortgages and soaring household bills force them to earn a living.
Official figures show that 12.6million women have a job, compared to just 8.5million in the 1970s.
The ONS looked specifically at working women in Britain and what they do during a typical 24-hour period to create a typical "Diary of a Working Mum".
They sleep less and work more than any other "type" of woman - and still have to do about two-and-a-half hours "domestic work" every day, it reveals.
A typical working woman gets nearly 40 minutes less sleep every night than a full-time mother who gets more than nine hours sleep every night.
This is because she gets up earlier to travel into work every day, or spends time every night doing a long list of domestic chores before going to bed.
On average, a working woman toils at work for over five hours a day, although this figure appears low because it includes holidays and weekends when no work is done.
Recent research showed that most mothers with young families would prefer to stay at home and look after their children.
A survey of working mothers found that just six per cent wanted to work full-time, according to Prima magazine.
Half wanted to combine bringing up their children with a part-time job, while more than a quarter wanted to be a full-time mother.
They were asked: "In an ideal world, what would you like to be?" Twenty- six per cent said they wanted to be a "housewife and mother". The most popular response, given by 50 per cent, was to be a "mum who works part-time".
Maire Fahey, editor of Prima, said: "In the 1980s, we thought we could have it all and aspired to high-flying careers and happy families.
"But the cracks are starting to show. Family life is suffering and something has got to give."
The new ONS survey shows that life is also extremely tough for fathers with young families, particularly those whose youngest children is under the age of four.
They sleep less, works more and do more "domestic" work than any other "type" of man, such as one with older children or one with no children.
A typical father whose youngest child is under four gets less than eight hours sleep a night and does more than three hours of domestic chores every day.
They are also working more than one hour a day longer than their male colleagues who do not have children.
Overall, the ONS found that a typical person's 24-hours is mostly spent sleeping, working and watching television, which are the top three activities.
A woman will spend 8.3 hours asleep, 2.4 hours watching television, DVDs or videos and 2.2 hours working.
A man will spend eight hours alseep, 2.8 hours watching television, DVDs or videos and 3.5 hours working.
Just 24 minutes in 24 hours is spent reading, a figure which drops to just 10 minutes for younger people.

July is officially a fat month for my family. In it, we have two birthdays and a wedding anniversary. These events are accompanied by celebratory foods and added weight to our bodies. This year I reached the birthday milestone where I should now know the answer to the ultimate question of life, the universe, and everything (please refer to Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy for my age).

What I can tell you (for those of you who have not reached this magnificent age) is that life is like a roller coaster hill. Once you finally get to a place in your life where you feel like you "have a grip on life" and can see clearly (usually your 30's), you look ahead and see that things will very soon begin to go downhill rapidly and you no longer "have a gripe on life."

I am at an age where I should be more organized than I am, because I know better. Long ago, I described my age as young enough to get away with it, but old enough to know better. Now, I just know better. So, with this in mind, I will try regain my "grip" and focus on organization in my life before this coaster starts to go any faster. :)
 

A Second Hope Chest

This year, I received an early birthday present from my mother-in-law. A hope chest! It may seem strange to you that a middle-aged, married woman would even want such an object, but I did - very much, in fact. I never had a real hope chest in my youth. I had an antique steamer trunk with drawers that I loved to fill with my "treasures." As our daughter fills her hope chest with beautiful things for her future married life, I want to fill mine with beautiful things for future grandchildren. My daughter will be learning to sew this summer, and what better way to learn than on things for babies.  

Yesterday evening we went to the park by the river to toss a frisbee and walk as the weather was mild. It brought back many, fond childhood memories of playing outside and climbing trees. It was so refreshing and life-giving to be outside and breathe in Spring. (Of course, I coughed through the night, but that's a different story.) I encourage you this week to go outside and play with your children or your dog, or simply watch others play. It will make your heart glad. 

Why Turn off the TV?

Television cuts into family time, harms our children's ability to read and succeed in school, and contributes to unhealthy lifestyles and obesity. Here are just a few of the facts:

On average, children in the US will spend more time in front of the television (1,023 hours) than in school this year (900 hours).

Forty percent of Americans frequently or always watch television during dinner.

As US Surgeon General Dr. David Satcher said at the Kick Off of TV-Turnoff Week 2001, "We are raising the most overweight generation of youngsters in American history...This week is about saving lives."

Fathers

Written by Mrs. Calla Lilly at age 8

Fathers are very great! If we didn't have fathers or men, who would lift the heavy things & drive eighteen wheelers? If we didn't have fathers, who would protect us? No one would be there to pay the bills or drive the tractor. No one could build homes or bridges. We wouldn't have roads or cars as we do today. If it weren't for fathers, we would be dead. If it weren't for fathers, I would not have my heavenly Father. Praise the Lord for fathers! Thanks, Dad!

Below are some purposefully blurred photos of my father.

Alert from American Family Association

Possibly some of you have daughters who play with the American Girl
dolls or read their books. You may even be thinking about buying a
doll or books for Christmas. Well, it turns out American Girl (owned
by Mattel) is partnering with a group called Girls Inc. to sell a
bracelet, the "I Can" band, which financially supports Girls Inc.
Seventy cents of every purchase goes to Girls Inc. The band is sold on
the American Girl webpage with a large ad and a link to the Girls Inc.
webpage. In addition, the webpage says American Girl is giving $50,000
to Girls, Inc.

The problem here is that Girls Inc. has on their webpage a statement
saying they particularly support abortion and a girl's right to abort
an unwanted baby. They were quite clear about their support for Roe,
so there is no mistake or room for confusion on that count.
Additionally, Girls Inc. supports contraceptives for girls.

They also support and offer resources encouraging lesbian and
bi-sexual lifestyles, actually offering resources for girls. One of
their publications states, "The emergence of a lesbian identity is an
ongoing process, rather than an event."

Of course, American Girl itself is a separate company, unrelated to
Girls, Inc. except now by webpage and the seventy cents on every
bracelet. I checked out the Girls, Inc. website, and it is exactly as
I have told you. Below are some direct links, so that you can see them
for yourself.

- American Girl website offering "I Can" band to benefit Girls Inc.
store.americangirl.com/shop/ican.php

- Girls Inc. homepage
www.girlsinc.org/ic

- Girls Incorporated supports a woman's freedom of choice
www.girlsinc.org/ic/page.php?id=4.3.4

- Convenient access to safe, effective methods of contraception
www.girlsinc.org/ic/page.php?id=4.3.4

- Girls and Lesbian, Bisexual, and Questioning Identities
www.girlsinc.org/ic/conte...lgirls.pdf

- Free your mind: The book for gay, lesbian, and bisexual youth and
their allies.
www.girlsinc.org/ic/conte...sgirls.pdf

- Girls and Sexual Health (with sexual orientation on page 3)
www.girlsinc.org/ic/conte...Health.pdf

I hope you will take time to let American Girl know they are making a
terrible mistake by supporting the pro-abortion, pro-lesbian
organization, Girls Inc.

Please send them an email expressing your disappointment and let
American Girl president Ellen Brothers know the company's decision
casts a great shadow over their trustworthiness to put the welfare of
girls and children first.

Click Here To Email American Girl Now!
www.afa.net/Petitions/tak...asp?id=154

Sincerely,

Don

Donald E. Wildmon, Founder and Chairman
American Family Association

Where are the families?

The leaves had been just gorgeous here this weekend, so we decided to take advantage of the beauty and play some family frisbee at a local park. What struck me the most about the day was the absence of families. Families do not spend enough time just being together and goofing around. Sure, lots of families can be found at the mall or movie theater, but that doesn't require any kind interaction. Those activities do not build relationships. Do you know more about your family members than you do about your favorite stars? I hope not. 

Tell Me the Old, Old Story

Today, we had our foster daughter watch the Luther movie to give her a better understanding of the reformation. While watching the film, she asked if those who were taught error during that time, were in heaven or hell. It is so exciting to have her ask us such serious questions. It seems as though not a day passes that she doesn't ask us something about God or our faith. We take such discussions with our biological daughter for granted because she has grown up in the faith (at the ripe old age of 15). She has been taught these truths since she was a babe. For our new, foster daughter, these ideas are fresh and thought provoking. She truly grapples with her faith and the doctrines of God. These truths should be just as exciting to us, no matter what our spiritual age. 

Yesteryear

This past weekend my in-laws gave a slide show of old family photos. Most of the snaps were of my husband as an infant and a child, but there were also pictures of church picnics and holidays. What I love most about these old slides is seeing how beautifully everyone dressed. All the women wore neatly pressed dresses, sometimes with gloves and hats. Everyone had neatly and attractively arranged hair. The men always had their shirts tucked in, and there were no baggy pants and slouchy t-shirts. Life was different then. People dressed modestly and with dignity because their hearts and lives were modest and dignified.

Final Review

I finally finished this wonderful book last week. I know that I began by posting snippets from each chapter, but life happens and things get left undone. It took longer than usual to read this book because it was so disheartening that I could only take it in small bites.

I will say, however, that I believe this book to be a must-read for any parent of teens or soon-to-be teens, whether you plan to allow your children to attend youth group or not. I believe it is also a must-read for anyone involved in Christian education. Until reading this book, I had no idea just how much of the world's ideas had quietly crept into our churches. This book may be shocking for some (like me), but hopefully it will encourage all to become better "keepers of the gate" for our children. I give this book a 10 out of 10 stars.

The Value of Family

I have recently become acutely aware of how little people value the family. Even in conservative Christian homes among the youth, there is much talk of not getting married or of having one or no children after marriage. Most cite the burden of children or desires for a career as the basis of their reasoning. Another common thought is to wait a very long time after marriage to have any children.

Our own dear daughter has a friend who claimed that she only wanted one child, at which my daughter laughed and informed her that she would have as many children as God chose. How true. Despite all our efforts to have a large family, we only have one daughter. Others, despite their efforts to the contrary, are blessed with children. How much happier we would all be if we truly left these things in the hands of God.

We (my husband, daughter, and myself) love our little family, and we love our little home. Our daughter desires to be a keeper at home and have a family. This does not preclude her other interests of violin, history, and literature. These are joys and delights she intends to bring to her own family.

What is it about other families that they do not see family as something to be desired?

The Good Ol' Days

Here is a snapshot of my aunt, my grandmother, my mother, and me. I'm the one who looks like I'm ashamed to have my picture made, but actually, the sun was in my eyes, and my grandfather always took a long time to take a picture. :) If a group of ladies were dressed in this manner today (aside from the styles being very dated), one might say they were to attend a formal event. In those days (1960's), this is how we dressed to go shopping.

I loved to spend all day shopping with these women. We would go to the department store to shop and then have lunch in the store restaurant. The restaurant had real table cloths and linen napkins and china. It was always such a calming and happy sound to hear the tinkling of china and chatter of ladies. There was often an informal fashion show going on during lunch where models roamed from table to table wearing the latest dress, telling us where to find it and how much it cost. At one such restaurant, there was a circular stage where the models sometimes walked. One fine Saturday at lunch, we were fortunate enough to sit right next to the stage. I was so delighted that I did not resist the urge to climb up on the stage with the models, much to the embarrassment of my mother. :)

There aren't many places like that anymore, and women no longer dress in a beautiful way. We all don blue jeans and t-shirts, and our behavior tends to be equally common. We dine in fast food restaurants or in traffic and eat and drink out of styrofoam and plastic containers. Society is no longer civil or genteel. We no longer shop with friends or family, and we no longer know our neighbors. We lack beauty in our everyday lives.

I am blessed to have a daughter who loves to dress up to shopping or go have tea at our local English tea room (where they have the tablecloths & china!). But, what else can we do? Perhaps today would be a good day to bring a small bouquet of flowers to someone who needs cheering? Or, set a nice table for your family? Or, maybe take that step to dress a little more beautifully and act more gently?

What ideas do you have?

Gimmicks, Fads, and Mind Games

Chapter 2 of Spiritual Junk Food: The Dumbing Down of Christian Youth

What caught my attention the most about this chapter was the notion of group think. In youth groups there is a lot of attention placed on the "group" with special emphasis on trust and sharing and group agreement. Thom Schultz of Group Publishing "recommends that an individual should be assigned the job of making 'sure that everyone understands and agrees with the answers arrived at by the group.'" (38) What is shocking is how closely this is in harmony with humanist John Dewey's statement that "children who know how to think for themselves spoil the collective society..., where everyone is independent." (38) Denny Rydberg, leader of Young Life, admits that "children will indeed lose their individuality to the group." (38)

Can you imagine a youth group that believes that the group is the ultimate authority on real life issues your teen is facing rather than God???? What makes this all so sickening to me is that no answer given in the group is allowed to be seen as invalid, wrong, or in contradiction with Scripture. This is intended to give teens a sense of security, knowing that their ideas will not be rejected by the group. This, instead, calls into question the absolutes laid down by the teen's parents and God Himself and sets the group up as the ultimate authority.

"Guard what has been entrusted to you, avoiding worldly and empty chatter and the opposing argument of what is falsely called 'knowledge' - which some have professed and thus gone astray from the faith." I Timothy 6:20-21