Feminine Stance

Please visit our daughter's new blog, linked above. :)

Where Have All the Men Gone?

Lately, I have been saddened by the lack of young men who are not afraid of responsibility or being faithful to honor their commitments...or even make a commitment. Guess what, ladies? It's largely our own fault. Even if you're not a femi-nazi out to conquer the world, you may have unconsciously had a hand in the disappearance of the true man. Here are a few things we ladies may need to consider taking on:

Stop enabling them! If a guy asks you to "hang-out" or says he will call you and then never contacts you about when & where; don't call, text, message, or contact him in anyway. This only encourages an avoidance of responsibility.

If a young man who proposes to you still lives at home, think twice about accepting him. Before a young man marries, in the best of all worlds, he needs to have proved that he can provide for you.

Stop man shopping. Proverbs 31 says "he who finds a wife" not "she who finds a husband." Do you really want a man you had to chase down? Young women pursuing young men encourages a passive male role in the relationship.

Stop the excessive flirting. Again, this puts you as the pursuer.

Dress modestly!!!! If you dress like a street walker, you're going to be treated like a street walker. If you dress for respect, you're more likely to receive respect. If you dress feminine, you are more likely to be treated as a lady.

Give guys a chance. Pause for a brief moment before opening a door; give him the chance to open it for you. Stand by your chair momentarily before being seated; allow him the opportunity to pull it out for you. This can be applied to SO many things.

Stop man bashing!!!! This is so unbecoming and no one really benefits from it.

Stop competing with men...even in conversation. No one likes to be "one up-ed" particularly in a group setting.

When you see a young man behaving like a man, praise or thank him! Positive reinforcement goes a long way.

Seek to serve your father, your brothers, and brothers in Christ in a way that honors and pleases God.

Be respectable in your behavior, without crude jesting. Be worthy of a man by being a godly woman.

I haven't posted much because I've been pouring over my new favorite blog. If you haven't visited this blog, it is well worth your time!

http://www.empoweredtraditionalist.com/

Purity From the Heart

I am a big fan of Stacy McDonald's Raising Maidens of Virtue. Below is an article that will give you a taste for the book.

The Great Masquerade: An Impure Façade
by Stacy McDonald
In like manner also, that the women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with propriety and moderation, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or costly clothing, but, which is proper for women professing godliness, with good works. (1 Timothy 2:9-10, NKJV)
“But it doesn’t matter what I wear!” Sarah scoffed. “God sees my heart!” Sarah finished putting on her lipstick while Hannah tried in vain to reason with her old friend.
“Yes, God sees your heart,” Hannah explained, “but nobody else does—especially boys—they see that.” Hannah swept her hand in front of Sarah’s revealing outfit. “Don’t you see? They’re too distracted by what you’re wearing to notice you.”
“But that’s my point! I don’t care if boys notice me or not.” Hannah smiled coyly. “I just care what God thinks, and He can see my heart.”
Hannah sighed, “My mom always says that whatever is in our hearts will eventually show up on the outside—in what we wear, how we carry ourselves, what we say, how we treat others, and . . .”
“Okay, okay, I get your point.” Sarah tugged at her skirt, which suddenly seemed shorter than ever before. She wasn’t in any mood to listen to her friend today. Lately, Hannah seemed to have become more and more legalistic, and her comments were really beginning to irritate Sarah.
Sarah continued applying another layer of mascara and turned to her friend in exasperation. “Look, Hannah, I’m glad you’re so concerned about my soul and all, but I don’t see things the way you do. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with what I’m wearing, and I don’t think God does either. I’m just dressing like everybody else. Besides, if a guy lusts, that’s his problem!” Sarah nervously buttoned another button on her blouse. “So please stop judging me!”
Changing Our Culture for Christ
Have you ever had a conversation like this? Many people believe that we should draw our modesty standards from what is commonly worn in our particular culture or era. Of course, if that were entirely true, we could also say that if we were born in a remote jungle where everyone walked around nude, then we, as jungle Christians, could also forego clothing. Another problem with this type of thinking is that God intends Christians to be dominion takers—people who influence our culture for Christ rather than the other way around.
Consider the popular clothing styles, the slang, and even the liberal moral trends followed by a huge portion of our society. Much of what we see comes directly from Hollywood actors, television icons, and pop music stars. Instead of being a people set apart (Proverbs 23:17), the Church sadly reflects this same tendency.
Therefore “Come out from among them And be separate,” says the Lord. “Do not touch what is unclean, And I will receive you. I will be a Father to you, And you shall be My sons and daughters,”says the Lord Almighty. Therefore, having these promises, beloved, let us cleanse ourselves from all filthiness of the flesh and spirit, perfecting holiness in the fear of God. (2 Corinthians 6:17-7:1, NKJV)
If we visit almost any church youth group, we will see young ladies who speak, walk, dress, and flirt exactly like the daughters of the heathen. This has resulted from our love of and conformity to the world, a condition that the Church largely fails to recognize. Christians must be conformed to the image of Christ (Romans 8:29), and our uniqueness should be evident to the world.
Today’s young people have turned from the influence of their parents and grandparents (Proverbs 7:1-2) and embraced instead the persuasive tactics of the ungodly. Imitation is called the highest form of flattery—we tend to imitate those we esteem and want to emulate. If we imitate the world, exactly what do we communicate? “ Beloved, do not imitate what is evil, but what is good. He who does good is of God, but he who does evil has not seen God” (3 John 11, NKJV).
If It Feels Good, Wear It?
Others take a relativistic approach to modesty. These women believe that if they feel modest in their clothing, that’s all that matters—and too bad for the poor guy sitting in the church pew behind them! We need to remember that when it comes to obeying God, feelings are irrelevant. Scripture, not our personal, creative moral standard, must be our authority.
If Scripture teaches us that we are to dress in “modest apparel” (1 Timothy 2:9), then there must be immodest apparel as well. We know from Proverbs 7:10 that the adulterous woman seduced her lover with flattery and the “ attire of a harlot.” What does this mean?
Although God doesn’t give us fashion specifics or sewing patterns, He clearly states that we are to dress and behave modestly. He has created us distinctively female and has instructed us throughout Scripture to be chaste. What, then, does chastity require?
Chastity Communicates Christ
Chastity before marriage reflects both purity of the body and a wholesome thought life. A chaste young woman will not flaunt her body or flirt with young men. Instead, she is adorned by her modest demeanor and discreet speech. Rather than focusing on “how far” she can go, she guards even her thoughts by concentrating on her relationship with Christ and faithfulness to her future husband.
After marriage, a woman reflects chastity through her faithfulness to the purity of the marriage bed—both literally and as reflected in speech and attitude. A chaste wife delights in her husband, happily reserving her body for him. Her speech is wholesome, she is not idle, and she refrains from activities that would compromise her own or her husband’s reputation. Chastity, in other words, is a way of life, the essence of who we are as Christian women. “That they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed” (Titus 2:4-5, NKJV).
A chaste woman guards her reputation (the way she is regarded or perceived by others) by making certain never to portray herself falsely as tainted or impure. Such an unholy picture would bring shame upon the name of Christ, herself, and her husband or father. Scripture tells us that this literally “blasphemes the word of God” (Titus 2:5) by inviting the heathen to believe a lie about His power and holiness.
Webster’s 1828 Dictionary defines the word blaspheme this way: “To speak of the Supreme Being in terms of impious irreverence; to revile or speak reproachfully of God, or the Holy Spirit.” If the world looks at the way we dress or behave and sees impurity, we have failed to communicate Christ in a “pious” or “reverent” way. This in turn allows the world to “speak reproachfully” of our most holy God.
Certainly, many of today’s seemingly unchaste Christian women do not intentionally blaspheme God through their dress or actions. Instead, they have so immersed themselves in modern culture that they have become blind to the pure, the lovely, and the good. Most of us, desensitized since childhood by the media and peer influences, find it difficult to differentiate between that which is pure and good and that which is nothing more than whitewashed filth.
Therefore, we must diligently search out the principles in Scripture that apply to modesty, chastity, and femininity, and be willing to conform cheerfully to what we learn—no matter how much we love those old jeans or how “cute” we find that new skirt!
Christians have mimicked the heathen for so long—copying their fashions, borrowing their educational and social philosophies, conforming to their dating format, and adopting their dialect—that we do not even recognize the loss of our Christian identity. We have worn the costume and spoken the language of the world for so long that we no longer recognize ourselves. Unfortunately, neither does anyone else.
If the Church does not reform its thinking to line up with Scripture, what hope do we have for change? If Christian women do not begin to consistently communicate biblical beauty, femininity, and modesty, how will our culture understand and appreciate the delicate appeal and power of virtuous womanhood?
Instead of mirroring the behavior or appearance of the latest pop star, Christian young women can show our culture a better alternative —one that is wholesome, pure, and lovely. Through our clothing, speech, behavior, and conversation, we have the opportunity to reveal to the world a beautifully honest picture of the holiness and purity of Christ.
The following discussion questions are excerpted from Raising Maidens of Virtue: A Study of Feminine Loveliness for Mothers and Daughters.
1. Have you ever thought about what you look like from behind—how tight or sheer your clothing is? Ask your mother to stand behind you and watch you walk. Ask her if she thinks you swing your hips or swagger.
2. How is modesty a heart issue? Discuss ways that heart issues show up in our actions.
3. When you walk up a flight of stairs, what do men behind you see? What types of clothing would be the most modest in this situation?
4. Have you ever worn a long, flowing skirt or dress? How did it make you feel? How did others view you? Did it properly cover your private areas with no problem?
5. Do you wear skirts that have slits that are cut higher than you would actually wear your skirt? What happens when you walk or sit? What happens on a windy day?
6. Is your clothing modest to the people who are sitting behind you in church? Ask your mother or a wise female friend to stand behind you while you bend over to pick up a book. Now do the same with them standing in front of you. What did she see? What would your father think?
7. Raise your hands high above your head. Does your tummy show? You may think, “I’ll never be walking around with my hands above my head,” but this is a good all-around test. I’ve seen young ladies in blouses that seemed modest until they bent over to pick up a toddler or had to reach up high on a shelf.
8. How low is your neckline? Look in the mirror while holding onto your knees. Do you see cleavage? If so, everyone else does too! If you are fuller in the chest area, you may need to be more careful of certain fabrics. Sweaters, knits, and the newer “stretchy” fabrics tend to cling and accentuate the bust line, and tops that are too large fall open easily.
9. Be aware of where others’ eyes may be drawn. You want them to look at your face, not other parts of your body, while they are talking to you. Avoid garments that hug areas which should be kept private.
10. Would you feel naked wearing your nightgown or undergarments into a courtroom or church? What would your pastor and his wife think if you invited them over to supper, then answered the door in your underwear? Would they be shocked? Why do many of us think it is acceptable then to invite fellow Christians over for a pool party where everyone is wearing “colored underwear”? Discuss your answer with your mother (Romans 12:2).
11. Discuss how we have been conditioned by the world to accept public nakedness, all in the name of recreation and fun—or even Christian liberty. How should we change our thinking? (1Peter 1:14)
12. Talk about how someone can be dressed modestly from head to toe and still reveal an immodest demeanor.
Read Proverbs 7:10-11 and Proverbs 31:22, 25.
13. Look up the following words in the dictionary. Discuss with your mother how they might apply to immodesty:
Conceit Haughtiness Egocentric Ostentatious What is the root sin of each of these offenses? 14. Read all of Proverbs chapter 7. Do you see what could be described as the “attire of a harlot” in the styles offered in most department stores today? What do you think is meant by “her feet abide not in her house?” Was the woman described in Proverbs 7 modest? Was she focused on serving her husband and her household faithfully or on gratifying herself? Men tend to sin by lusting after women, while women tend to sin by lusting to be lusted after. Lust is the very opposite of love because it takes instead of gives. 15. If a maiden knowingly exposes private parts of her body or wears clothing that may incite lust in a young man, then she is acting selfishly. Again, this is the opposite of what Scripture describes as love. Do you think the Proverbs 7 woman loved the young man she enticed? Do you think she enjoyed flaunting her body? Have you ever chosen an outfit because you thought it might get the attention of a boy? Pray about your answer. Discuss the selfish motives behind choosing your wardrobe this way.
Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. (1 Corinthians 13:4-7)
16. Are you dressing for the approval of man or God? Is your goal to impress or attract others or to be pleasing to God and to glorify Him? Be honest!

I Blame Barbie

Last night I bought a new book, which when considering the subject matter of the book, I find delightfully ironic that I made the purchase. Like most books I read, this one falls under the category of sociology. I have always been of the opinion that Madison Avenue tells more lies than politicians, but lately I have begun to catch a new glimpse at the magnitude of marketers' impact. It happened the day Barbie's 50th birthday was announced.
Before the advent of the Barbie doll, most little girls in America played with baby dolls. This type of play had little girls "practicing" to be adults with responsibilities. Along comes Barbie. She's young, beautiful, and envied by all. Everyone wants to be like Barbie; she has a convertible, a dream house, Ken, beautiful clothes galore, and no responsibilities. She is a spoiled adolescent, or as many have dubbed, a "kidult."
Never before in history has adulthood been delayed for so long; not that I want to go back to children working in factories, mind you, but we are seeing 20something and 30something kidults still living at home trying to find themselves. We have grown men playing video games to the point of ignoring their families and responsibilities, and women going to nightclubs while leaving their babies in the car, or becoming shopaholics, or desperately trying to cling to youthful looks.
I'm sure that as I dive into this book I will have much to share with you. :)

Do We Truly Love Our Neighbor?

Do we love our neighbor if we dress sloppily or immodestly?

Do we love our neighbor if we do not show good manners?

Do we love our neighbor if we do not step out of our comfort zones in order to reach out to them?


Do we love our neighbor if our speech is vulgar or brash?





 

The Dress of War

If someone told you to sketch a portrait in your minds eye, could you? It's not hard to do. How about a Muslim woman, shrouded in thick black veils? Now picture a "alluring" woman out to have a good time on the town. But this is harder: can you picture a Christian woman? It is easy to identify a policeman, soldier, fireman, and even sometimes a politician, but shouldn't we be able to point out a Christian maiden just as simply?...

Follow the link above for a must read article on dress.

Lessons in (modest) fashion
Churchgoers walk the runway to show that cute doesn’t have to mean sexy
By Ron Knox
Thursday, May 4, 2006

The models here certainly walked the model walk — strolling down the runway, sashaying, turning their gaze side to side.
But at the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, 3655 W. 10th St., there was not an inch of shoulder flesh, not a hint of thigh.
Here, modesty was the rule.
“It’s helping the girls to be proud to be modest,” Kristie Hansen said, “to realize there’s beauty in modesty.”
Hansen and fellow church leaders put together the Modest Fashion Show at the church Wednesday night, hoping to spur interest in being fashionable without succumbing to the urge to wear what they described as “indecent” clothes.
Halter tops. Midriffs.
Anything that showed more than a girl’s arms and neck.
The whole idea was the brainchild of Michelle Hague, a Young Woman Leader at the Mormon church. To her, it isn’t about young women having a choice while hitting the racks at department stores.
While similar movements around the country have pressured big chain stores to sell less revealing clothing for social reasons — to promote healthy body types, mainly — that wasn’t the point for Hague.
To her, its about doing right religiously.
“We believe their bodies are gifts from God,” Hague said backstage.
Gifts, she said, that should not be on display for everyone to see. Sure, church rules dictate so, but for Hague it’s also about the way the girls may appear to guys.
“They’re giving the idea to the world that they’re that kind of girl,” Hague said.
That kind of girl? Isn’t that the guy’s problem?
Sure, Hague said, but the guys are part of the equation as well. To help keep boys in the church complacent, the girls need to hide the flesh, rather than keep it out for everyone to see.
So in the small gymnasium inside the church halls, junior high and high school girls stepped out on the runway wearing clothes that revealed little in the way of flesh.
Which is to say, they wore what many would wear on a stroll down Massachusetts Street — save for some late-night revelers. The majority of the girls wore hoodies and capri khakis, jeans and sandals.
All of this at the direction of church leaders. But the girls, for the most part, seemed to agree with the philosophy that modest meant better.
Liz Beisner, an 18-year-old, hit the modest runway wearing a typical outfit: a pair of jeans, a hooded T-shirt, moccasins.
“We’re just trying to show girls that there are cute things that are modest,” Beisner said.
To her, modest clothing equates to a religious belief. For others, it may be because of body insecurity, a rejection of physical stereotypes, a cold breeze, whatever.
She knows girls are going to wear what they want, she said. But the point is to offer a less revealing choice in clothing, and have girls still feel attractive while wearing them.
Walking along Massachusetts Street with some buddies earlier Wednesday, Alex Swanson, a 15-year-old student at Central Junior High School, said she felt about the same way.
Swanson said that everyone has different tastes in clothes for whatever reasons. She could appreciate that.
“I’d rather have options,” Swanson said.
Swanson’s friend, Akina Kashiwaya, agreed.
“That way,” she said, “you won’t be limited to what people expect either way.”

Dress Codes for Worship

I Corinthians 10:23-31
Do All to the Glory of God
23 “All things are lawful,” but not all things are helpful. “All things are lawful,” but not all things build up. 24 Let no one seek his own good, but the good of his neighbor. 25 Eat whatever is sold in the meat market without raising any question on the ground of conscience. 26 For “the earth is the Lord's, and the fullness thereof.” 27 If one of the unbelievers invites you to dinner and you are disposed to go, eat whatever is set before you without raising any question on the ground of conscience. 28 But if someone says to you, “This has been offered in sacrifice,” then do not eat it, for the sake of the one who informed you, and for the sake of conscience— 29 I do not mean your conscience, but his. For why should my liberty be determined by someone else's conscience? 30 If I partake with thankfulness, why am I denounced because of that for which I give thanks?
31 So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God. 32 Give no offense to Jews or to Greeks or to the church of God, 33 just as I try to please everyone in everything I do, not seeking my own advantage, but that of many, that they may be saved.

What constitutes proper attire for worship is obviously a topic that is much debated and will continue to be debated for a long time to come. Let us each search out the Scriptures and dress intentionally, according to our convictions based upon study, prayer, and the counsel of godly men and women. God's dress code for worship is holiness. May we each be adorning ourselves in Christ's righteousness every day and with the attire we believe to be most honoring to Him.

New Modesty

New modesty – Catholic program fights back against fashion industry
By Sara Loftson4/27/2006
The Catholic Register
TORONTO, Canada (The Catholic Register) – These days Emily Morrow-Fick keeps busy organizing runway lessons, wardrobe fittings and easing last-minute stage fright as she prepares 55 young girls to take center stage at a Pure Fashion show here.
"It's not just about fashion, a lot of it is teaching girls how to present themselves without feeling like they have to act like Britney Spears or Paris Hilton," said Morrow-Fick, 18, a student at St. Mary's College and the co-chair for Pure Fashion in Calgary.
Pure Fashion is a Catholic program that promotes modest dress for girls in grades 8 through 12.
Young women attend training sessions to learn about the virtues of modesty, purity and chastity, as well as the ins and outs of hair, make-up and posture. This all leads up to a fashion show where the girls model all that they've learned on the catwalk.
"Trendy but tasteful" is the catch phrase national chairwoman Brenda Sharman uses to describe the philosophy behind Pure Fashion.
"Pure Fashion has grown into a whole person developmental program. Modesty is more than what you wear on the outside, it has to be an exterior reflection of an interior attitude," Sharman, who brings 20 years experience in modeling and acting to Pure Fashion, told The Catholic Register in a telephone interview from Atlanta, Ga.
"Their intention should be to turn as many hearts as possible, not heads."
Pure Fashion lists specific clothing guidelines girls are to abide by during the fashion show and potentially retain once it's over. Material must not be thin nor sheer, necklines should not be four fingers bellow the collar bones and skirts and dresses should be no shorter than four fingers above the top of the kneecaps are three examples.
"Girls are very hesitant to accept the idea of being modest in a society that tells them to wear short shirts, heavy eye make-up and act ditzy. They are hesitant to be more confident unless they are wearing these clothes," said Morrow-Fick.
Not all girls buy into the Pure Fashion message, but the program is meant to plant a seed for the future, added Morrow-Fick.
Sharman agrees living out the principles of Pure Fashion is not easy. "It's a countercultural message because right now all the things you read are about how to be hot and sexy."
Anne Moroney, 14, has been sold on the Pure Fashion message. She is preparing for her third fashion show at the Spruce Meadows Congress Hall May 7 in Calgary.
"I really like fashion and clothes but I also think that we should stand up for all the rest of the girls and show we can be stylish and modest and really show our dignity and show we're worth dressing nicely," said Moroney, who convinced two girlfriends to join her this year.
Moroney said it helps having peers who also practice modesty. "There's always pressure to dress immodestly, especially from girls your age and our culture is very immodest. You'll go into a store and try on something immodest because it's hard to find other clothes."
Barbara Moroney said she's noticed her daughter's confidence has increased since modeling with Pure Fashion. She welcomes the modest message coming from outside the home.
"The pressure is for them to sell their body,” said Moroney, a Catholic who home-schools Anne and her five other children. “In many ways they are still little girls so I think it's about trying to protect them without becoming the enemy, but sometimes it can be a battle. They tend to say the parents are the bad guys."
The Moroney family got involved with Pure Fashion through the Challenge Girl Club, a Catholic leadership program for girls within Regnum Christi, an international Catholic lay and religious movement. Seven years ago, a group of mothers and daughters in the United States decided to hold small informal fashion shows that promoted modest dress in church halls and basements.
It's grown to 15 chapters in the United States and one permanent location in Calgary that started three years ago. In just three years, the Calgary chapter has grown, its budget going from $2,500 to $35,000. The ultimate goal is to make Pure Fashion into a product that can be franchised, said Jodie Britton, chairwoman for Pure Fashion Calgary.
Britton's unchurched background inspired her interest in the program. "I can attest coming from teenage years without Christ that there's no fulfillment in shopping or boys," said Britton, mother of three boys.
She said she tries to help girls become real models as role models. She believes girls who learn the virtue of modesty are models for living chastely later in life. "The girls that I do know that are 18-19 are able to be more well-balanced and peaceful and happy because they've remained pure of body and heart so the temptations just aren't there in a relationship."
Pure Fashion is slowly expanding in Canada. Vancouver and Edmonton have hosted informal Pure Fashion shows and in just under two months a group of women in Halifax slapped together a Pure Fashion show held April 2. After four preparatory sessions, Keri Webber was one of 25 models aged 10-18 who strutted down the catwalk.
"It was really fun. (It) made you realize how much you come across to other people," said Webber, 17, a Grade 11 student who had no previous modeling experience.
Webber said after the show she went to Old Navy and bought all the outfits she modeled in the show.
Melanie Douchesne had a similar experience. Since participating in the show she doesn't wear low-cut shirts or low-rise pants. "I can bend down and not worry about my underwear sticking out."
"I find once you're out of high school it's not as bad," said Melanie Douchesne, an 18-year-old first-year student at St. Mary's University in Halifax. "I don't find that there is any pressure any more. I just wear the clothes that suit my personality."
Although Douchesne said she may be in the clear, she thinks junior and early high school-aged girls face the most pressure. "Everyone dresses up and tries to be that pretty girl in school. I see my little sister and her friends do it and they are only 14 and 15 years old."
In the first of four sessions, the girls learned how to stand up to the pressure of society and the media. They analyzed magazine ads, a recent university grad spoke about her battle with anorexia and two university-aged men described what they look for in a woman. They talked about how they wouldn't take an immodestly dressed girl seriously in the future, said Webber.
"The more skin girls show (the more) guys (stop) looking at them for their personality. They are more like they think she has a nice body," said Webber, explaining what she learned during the presentation.
"Our theme is looking good inside and out,” said Donna Webb, one of the workshop facilitators. “You might attract someone for a little while but will they stay?"
"My senses are assaulted all the time when I walk down the street,” Webb said. “There's no modesty, no purity left in the culture. And it's sending our young people in the wrong direction. We just want to open their eyes to a different way of life.”
Webb said although she doesn't have any daughters, she has a vested interest in teaching girls the value of modest dress.
"I have five sons. It's important to me the type of women they are going to be attracted to. They will be the mothers of my grandchildren."
Webb decided to spearhead the fashion show after she received a call from friend and Juno-nominated Catholic recording artist Janelle Reinhart. As the national spokesperson Reinhart composed the Pure Fashion theme song "It's a new day." She sings it at fashion shows across North America.
Webb and the other organizers were impressed with the 200-person audience and expressed interest in putting another show together next year.
Now that Pure Fashion is branded as its own organization, separate from Regnum Christi, it has its own logo, posters and Web site (www.purefashionshow.org), though does not tout itself as Catholic-run.
"If we are going to address this worldwide problem of immodesty then we have to be inclusive,” Sharman explained. “It's going to take all of us uniting as Christians to fight this battle because Satan has been alive and well in the fashion industry."

Modesty Matters

Woe to the world because of the things that cause people to sin! Such things must come, but woe to the man (or woman) through whom they come! - Matthew 18:7

Think it's not you're problem if young men are tempted to lust because of the way you dress or behave? Think again.

As social norms for clothing change, so do definitions of 'Sunday best'


By Erica Harms and Sammie Jo Barstow

Published: April 19, 2006

BIRMINGHAM, Ala. (ABP) -- Depending on where you worship, wearing your “Sunday best” to church today might not mean what it once did.

On Sunday mornings, more and more people are passing on dresses or ties and opting for blue jeans or khakis instead.

A dilemma now exists between the argument that casual clothing makes visitors feel welcome and the desire to dress in finer clothes out of respect for God’s house.

Harold Fanning, pastor of Shoal Creek Baptist Church in Decatur, Ala., said his church is more “business casual” than anything else. “Personally, I wear a suit on Sunday mornings, but I usually dress casual on Sunday evening -- more of a sport jacket, slacks and no tie,” he said.

But when Cecil Taylor, dean of the school of Christian studies at the University of Mobile, says he’s going casual, he’s going for a slightly different look. Taylor wears jeans to church and said he doesn’t mean any disrespect to God by doing so.

After all, Taylor recalled, David was anointed king of Israel after working in the fields.

In the biblical story, David’s divine appointment is preceded by God telling Samuel of other candidates, “The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”

“The important thing is to come before the Lord,” Taylor said. “I think whether I wear jeans or a three-piece suit is immaterial before the Lord.”

The definition of “casual” and how it’s worn is immaterial -- the real battle is against the suggestive clothing creeping into the churches, said Theresa Shadrix, a member of the Association of Image Consultants International.

“There is so much of the world in church today that we no longer stand out as a group of people by the way that we dress,” Shadrix said.

Shadrix, who is also co-director for Miss Jacksonville State University, has helped women of all ages find their style and motivate them to dress in a way that is both enjoyable and true to their religious convictions.

The moment that Shadrix gave her life to Christ at the age of 19, she said, not only did her heart change but so did the clothes her closet flaunted.

“I was not raised in a Christian home, so when I dedicated my life to Christ and married my Christian husband, I had to clean out my closet -- literally,” she said.

That was an issue that also concerned several women at First Baptist Church in Tuscaloosa. Bare midriffs, too-short skirts and strapless dresses were becoming common Sunday attire, they said. The women wondered if fashion and modesty could be combined.

To that end, they hosted a fashion show involving more than 70 models ranging in age from 18 months to 70-plus years. Ten vendors furnished everything from casual clothes to dressy suits and eveningwear.

“We wanted to show women, young and old, that we can be feminine, stylish and fashionable while still remaining modest in our dress,” Robin Ford, who coordinated the event, said.

“Although I don’t have a daughter, I do have a son, and I am concerned about the young women who will turn his head one day,” said Ford, who became concerned about inappropriate dress about three years ago. “I realized that modesty needs to be emphasized. And I believe the perfect organization to teach modesty to women is the one God created -- the church.”

Between segments of the fashion show, Barbara Gladney provided a Bible study emphasizing biblical guidelines on dress and encouraging women to value themselves and the image they portray as Christians.

For teens, that image is difficult because they get mixed signals about fashion from society and the church, said Shadrix, the image consultant.

Fanning, the Decatur pastor, said as long as his church’s teenagers aren’t wearing sexually inappropriate clothing, he is thankful to have them in church, however they are dressed. Students with body piercings may challenge the norm for church appearance. “But I’d rather have a kid looking like … he fell headfirst into a tackle box than out somewhere other than church,” he said.-30-

-- With reporting by the Alabama Baptist and Religion News Service.

Can You Tell the Difference?

Lately, my husband and I have been very disturbed about the state of today's Christian youth, particularly the homeschool crowd. What disturbs us is that some of our daughter's non-Christian friends behave better than most of her Christian, homeschool friends. Many homeschoolers today are rude, disrespectful, angry, immodest, complaining, apathetic about the faith,...I could go on with quite a long list. I'm not saying our daughter is perfect, but I would be mortified to hear that she displayed any of these characteristics. These are young people who have had the most exposure to the things of God and have supposedly been brought up in the faith. Then, there is my daughter's e-mail friend in Rwanda who has so little and suffered so much, and yet, her faith is so refreshingly vibrant and ever blossoming. We, who are Christian parents in America, have much to answer for before God. We are failing. It is time to wake-up. I will be mulling this over in my brain for quite some time. In the meantime, watch and pray. 

Blurred Lines Between Public and Private

  


Too often today the lines between public and private are blurred. This can be seen in our conversations and our behavior. It is a trend that has even reached into the heart of the church, removing her inhibitions and shame and replacing them with rebelliousness and pride.

Today it is not uncommon for Christians to “air their dirty laundry” in public through conversation, gossip prayer requests, message boards, or blogs; thereby dishonoring their parents, spouses, children, siblings, or friends. Do we truly love our neighbor if we are complaining about them to others? Are we seeking God’s face and lifting our family up in prayer, or do we bypass God and seek friends who will be on “our side” in our petty wars?

Young girls have no qualms about discussing their monthly cycles with friends – including boys. Boys and girls alike discuss with great animation how “far” they have been members of the opposite sex. Is nothing sacred anymore? Why do Christian teens feel more comfortable discussing their sexuality than their faith?

The line between public and private has also been blurred in the way we dress. Less than one generation ago, it would have been scandalous for a young girl to accidentally, much less deliberately, expose her bra strap, now it is commonplace. Boys sag their pants to arrogantly display their boxers, girls parade their bellies with midriffs and low rise pants that get lower with each season. Even more than that, it seems to matter little what size one’s belly is – flaunt whatever you’ve got.

There is no longer any shame in the world. Reserve and guilt (no matter how genuine) are seen as vices. We flaunt our sin blatantly. Americans hold self-esteem in such high regard that it matters not whether or not we possess something to be truly proud of. Whatever happened to boasting in Christ or seeking to cover someone’s sin in God’s love? Whatever happened to being a real parent who taught their children where the lines were drawn and made sure their children did not stray? Whatever happened to honoring our spouses by building them up rather than tearing them down?


Are they ashamed of their loathsome conduct? No, they have no shame at all; they do not even know how to blush. So they will fall among the fallen; they will be brought down when I punish them, says the Lord. This is what the Lord says, Stand at the crossroads and look; ask for the ancient paths, ask where the good way is, and walk in it, and you will find rest for your souls… Jeremiah 6:15-16

You are now at a crossroads; what will you do?

A True Girl

Here is a passage from Mrs. Julia McNair Wright's The Complete Home:

A true girl, one who has the right to the name of lady does not desire to call public attention to herself. She must be sought for. She does not parade herself to general view. She is careful not to act or dress in a manner to make herself remarkable either for oddity, display, showy colors, or extravagance. Her dress and her manners are simple and refined. Her good taste regulates her tones, her words and her actions as well as her bonnets. She quietly does what she thinks she ought, and has a large reserve power of intelligence, wit, accomplishment, kind feeling. She does not show forth at one glance all her possessions, as some people who set all their silver forth on their tables at once, but she has an untold inheritance and acquistion of valuable things, which will only be discovered by a long acquaintance, when day by day she will surprise you by having a depth of strength, and culture, and lovingness beyond your pervious discerning. Such a girl is like an inexhaustible gold mine, while many girls are like the bogus mines, started by some crafty speculator, who has scattered a little gold and quartz along the surface. 

Yesteryear

This past weekend my in-laws gave a slide show of old family photos. Most of the snaps were of my husband as an infant and a child, but there were also pictures of church picnics and holidays. What I love most about these old slides is seeing how beautifully everyone dressed. All the women wore neatly pressed dresses, sometimes with gloves and hats. Everyone had neatly and attractively arranged hair. The men always had their shirts tucked in, and there were no baggy pants and slouchy t-shirts. Life was different then. People dressed modestly and with dignity because their hearts and lives were modest and dignified.

Teen Leads The Way In Modesty

Claire Halibur and her mother.


Teen offers new outlook for women
By JACQUELINE PINNPosted Thursday, September 1, 2005
JOLIET—

Dressed in a bright colored print blouse and a green skirt, the young woman looked like she had come out of an episode of “Little House on the Prairie.” While she admitted her different style of dress often gets odd looks from passersby; she is determined to serve as an example of modesty for women of all ages.

In today’s culture of teenage sexual exploration through dress and speech, Claire Halibur has found young women who are more interested in covering up rather than letting it all hang out. As a result, the 17-year-old Joliet native has created a modesty movement that offers resources for young women of all faiths.

Halibur and her mother Barbara sat down with the Catholic Explorer Aug. 26 to discuss the group and the issues that arise when young women follow the path of modesty in modern culture.

The idea to start a modesty movement came to Halibur in June of 2004 after the young woman had spoken at an international conference for young women in Wisconsin. “I gave a talk about how modesty and purity can work for young women in this day and age,” she said.
After her speech, Halibur was approached by young women asking for ways to follow the path of modesty. “When I started thinking about it, I realized that there really weren’t all that many resources concerning modesty, unless you know where to look for them,” she said.

That’s when Halibur decided to begin a movement, which would offer young women a place to find those resources and to connect with other girls their age. “I wanted to let them know that if they choose to begin a journey of modesty they will not be alone,” said Halibur.

When the time came to name the new movement, Halibur looked to her faith for inspiration. “The Blessed Mother, for example, should serve as the perfect role model in terms of modesty. After all she is one of the most beautiful and modest women history has ever known,” she said.
That is why Halibur calls her group the Rosa Mystica Modesty Movement. “Because one of the Blessed Mother’s names is the Rose of Mystery,” she said.

Clothing is only one of the avenues Halibur promotes when discussing the issue of modesty. “Modesty also concerns how you carry yourself, how you act and how you speak to other people,” she said.

As an example, Halibur spoke about young women she has seen dressed in halter-tops and short skirts. “Those women may act confident, but all their trying to do is get someone to notice how they are dressed, so they can feel good about themselves,” she said.

While she doesn’t put down actresses like Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie for the way they dress, Halibur does suggest that young women take a good long look at their role models and their lifestyles. “They may seem happy, but a deeper look might reveal a young woman who is really uncomfortable with the way she looks,” she said.

When discussing her own role models, Halibur said she looks to the Blessed Mother and the saints to guide her. “These are women who weren’t afraid to see their bodies as temples and to protect themselves, because they knew they were made in God’s image,” she said.

In particular, Halibur looks at the life of St. Philomena, a young Greek woman who died rather than be forced to marry a Roman emperor. “She was a young woman who stuck to her guns and followed God’s path for her, even though it meant her death,” she said.

Undertaking a journey of modesty isn’t just something for young women, according to Halibur, women of all ages can benefit from her movement. “I have had so many mothers and grandmothers come up to me asking for ideas not just their daughters and granddaughters, but for themselves as well,” she said.

In addition, Halibur discusses modesty issues with young men. “It is their reactions to what women are wearing that promotes this culture of lust that we are dealing with,” she said.

The dedicated young woman suggested that men compliment women on their modesty and encourage them to view their bodies as temples to God. “Women do listen to the reactions of the people around them. And I think with some positive reinforcement things will begin to change,” she said.

While she did admit that her dress and position on the issue of modesty often draws negative reactions from onlookers, she has tried to rise above it. “Many people peg my family and I as Mormons then are surprised when we say we are Roman Catholic,” she said. But more often than not, the family is bombarded with questions and requests. “So many people ask us where we get our clothes or what we mean by modesty,” she said.

Even though her modesty movement has been growing across the country, Halibur doesn’t really see herself as a role model. “All I’m trying to do is share the gifts that God has given to me,” she said. In addition to offering copies of her speech on purity, Halibur also offers a book full of modesty resources and literature. “It’s just my way of offering hope to the young women of the world,” she said.

The young woman also has been working on creating a Web site for members of the movement to access. “I hope to have the same resources that are currently offered in the guide, along with testimonials and other information about modesty issues,” she said.

When discussing the issue of modesty, Halibur suggested talking to girls early about the subject. “At a young age, girl’s minds are formed by what they see in the world. So that by the time they get to be teenagers, they don’t see anything wrong with the way they are dressed,” she said.
But if enough young women take up the cause of modesty, Halibur said change could occur. “We could set the trends and make a new world in which young women could feel comfortable in their skin,” she said.

Does Shopping for Clothes Leave You a Little Depressed?

Shopping for clothes leaves my teenaged daughter very depressed because while a lot of clothes may be "cute", most of them are inappropriate and immodest. I don't want the world to know quite that much about my daughter, and, while I hate the idea of enforcing very rigid rules of dress, I find that guidelines are very necessary. The real problem for us seems to be finding items that fall within those guidelines and do not look frumpy or matronly. If we do find items that fit the descriptions of modest and cute, it doesn't fit the body or the budget. Oy!

Will we give in to today's slut-wear just because it is difficult to find clothes deemed acceptable by modest standards? Heaven forbid! If women desiring to be virtuous stoop to that level, to what level will the world (or young girls watching our example) stoop? Someone has to stand in the gap. Someone has to be the keeper of the gate. Will it be you?

The Beauty of Modesty

The Beauty of Modesty is a wonderful new book by David and Diane Vaughan. I found it to be biblical, thorough, enlightening, and challenging. While many books on the subject of modesty only delve into outward dress, this book starts with the heart issues because "if the heart is changed, then the body will follow."

The authors make certain that all aspects of modesty are discussed because "a woman (or man) may have her entire body covered and yet act or speak in an immodest way." Immodesty can rear its ugly head in the forms of ostentation, androgyny, sensuality, and brand name association.

The book explores reasons for immodesty among God's people and discusses way that we, as parents or leaders in the church, unknowingly foster immodesty in both dress and demeanor.

The Vaughans particularly study the causes of immodesty in the worship setting, citing the trivialization of God as being at the heart of this travesty. According to A.W. Tozer, "the low view of God entertained almost universally among Christians is the cause of a hundred lesser evils everywhere among us...It is impossible to keep our moral practices sound and our inward attitudes right while our idea of God is erroneous or inadequate." The Vaughans state that if we, as God's people, want to restore virtue in the church, we must first restore God as the center of all we do - privately and publicly.

We are called to be a people that is holy and set apart. We are to wear robes of righteousness. It is high time the people of God dressed and behaved like the people of God. This is definitely a MUST READ book.

Looking for modesty amid the sleaze all around us

Monday, August 01, 2005By Ruth Ann Dailey
Summertime and the livin' is sleazy... I'm not referring, however, to the Northwestern University lacrosse players' footwear choices at the White House. Their flip-flops were unfortunate, and the flip-flop flap was lots of fun, but "sleazy" is something worse.
Sleazy is Britney Spears wearing a tiny crop-top with a tie-dyed skirt slung beneath her naked pregnant belly.
Sleazy is a Paris Hilton gal-pal gunning a motorcycle at a promotional event and revealing to paparazzi, as the bike shoots out from under her and she falls to the pavement, that she wears no underwear.
Sleazy is our non-famous daughters going to school dressed like street-walkers. (Actually, the hookers who troll for work in my neighborhood dress more modestly than today's typical teen.)
Our culture's ubiquitous sleaze -- about two decades' worth and not related just to women's clothing choices -- is what has brought us to the point that the fine young women who made it into elite Northwestern University don't know when and where shower slip-ons are inappropriate.
Some days I think that if I have to look at another bare female abdomen anywhere besides the swimming pool I will scream. I'd like to think I feel that way for reasons other than the fact that, after bearing three children, my belly is no longer fit for such fashions. When it was, my mother wouldn't let me dress like that -- not even while swimming. Now that I'm the mom, I want to shake these aspiring Britneys and say, "Have a little self-respect!"
At the recent White House event to recognize the Northwestern girls' achievements, the issue wasn't self-respect but respect for others -- "others" being not just the president of the United States, but the rest of us for whom the White House is a secular shrine. If you don't expend extra effort dressing to go there, is there any place worthy of your effort? Church?
When I raised the topic on talk radio last week, a caller informed me that in Italy, signs at church entrances still request, among other nods to the dignified proceedings within, that people not enter wearing open-toed shoes.
A 9th-grade classmate named Inga asked why I never wore jeans to school. (Short answer: I wasn't allowed.) She wore jeans even to church on Sunday and felt very strongly that God didn't care how she dressed so long as she was there. I agreed but argued that we might want to show Him our respect by how we presented ourselves.
These days, though I think we were both right, I lean more toward Inga's way of thinking. God accepts us as we are and mercifully doesn't leave us like that. But the god Inga and I were discussing is one who sees inside our hearts. Humans have to look for other clues.
You might argue that while the clothes don't make the woman, they do reveal what she's thinking: An awards ceremony at the White House, a worship service, yawn.
But maybe our clothes do make us. Maybe our pervasive casualness toward much that used to be considered special and important has, in fact, been shaped by the casualness with which we present our private selves.
It used to be that middle- and upper-class youth would adopt the clothing and mannerisms of the uneducated, angry and dissolute in order to shock their elders. They were rebels without a cause, but with the clothes.
The posturing of yesteryear's James Dean wannabes now seems naive. These days, every man's a gangsta, and every girl's a porn star. And it's no longer a pose. Too many kids have become what they were pretending to be. A good mother used to say, "If you're not selling it, don't advertise." But any sociologist or teen counselor can tell you that kids aren't selling it, they're giving it away for free.
It doesn't seem to be a coincidence that the loss of the very idea of propriety has occurred along with the rise of the Internet. Chat-room anonymity invites us to reveal our most private and ugliest thoughts -- to get naked with strangers. There are also millions of literally naked strangers: The mind-blowing omnipresence of hard-core pornography online almost makes our scantily clad teenagers seem modest.
We've been letting it all hang out for so long that there's nothing left to air.
And if everything's allowed, then nothing's shocking. What's surprising about those lacrosse players' flip-flops is that anybody noticed. I must point out, however, in the young women's defence, that they were all wearing modest skirts. So hope springs eternal, even in a sleazy summer.
(Ruth Ann Dailey is a Post-Gazette staff writer and can be reached at rdailey@post-gazette.com.)