Meaninglessness of Words Today

Today, there are more ways than ever to communicate with each other, and yet we seem to understand one another less with each new form of communication. It's no wonder; people do not say what they mean and they do not mean what they say. Words themselves have become almost meaningless as we skew them into forms and tenors for which they were never intended. It's no wonder that trust is such a rare commodity; we cannot even communicate with each other on a trustworthy level.

• In particular, the over use expletives (and one wonders when they are ever appropriate) has saturated our conversations and, upon careful examination, usually in ways which do not fit. For example, while a girl I know was watching a video clip of an amazing basketball shot, she exclaimed, "Dang!" Of course, I promptly questioned her as to why she should want to damn a young man or his athletic ability like that, because that is exactly what was uttered. As I'm sure you know, this was not her intent; nevertheless, that is what was spoken. Minced oaths are common today, and most haven't a clue as to the roots, origins, or true meaning of the words they utter.

• How many times have we heard the word "awesome" in reference to something that in no way evokes a sense of awe? Remember in the 70's how "bad" was really "good?" Adjectives such as "cool" and "hot" in reference to a person's attractiveness are unfortunately still floating around in conversations as well as many more explicit forms of inappropriately describing a person's desirability.

• Then there's texting and instant messaging and chat....how many of have typed out "lol" when we didn't actually laugh out loud? I don't even want to imagine what the spelling of the next generation will look like!

• How about the overuse and the overabundance of definitions of love? Or, the term "best friend" in reference to more than one person. I hate to inform my readers, but by definition there can only be one "best" friend. One may have many better friends, but only one best friend. When someone is awarded a "Best in Show" ribbon, I can assure you this is in reference to one and not multiple winners.

• Then there are the words which have been made up, such as gfunk, props, frack, ragemeister, and the like which fill slang dictionaries and widen the gap between generations and classes.

My goal for the day: to choose my words carefully

Speak No Evil

Lately, I have been very disheartened concerning the misuse of language and how it reflects upon the individual and society as a whole. I believe it points to an escalating level of disrespect or disregard for our fellow man and/or God. It is not my intention to go into detail about expletives, minced oaths or vulgarity because I am certain that your own imagination or past experiences can fill in the blanks more than is sufficient, nor is it my intention to lay ultimate blame on any one facet of society as there are many culprits involved. My concern is what should our reaction to this misuse be as Christians and how much of our own language needs correction or polishing. I believe that we are long overdue in taking a stand to not participate in any unwholesome conversation (Ephesians 4:29) and, in the very least, confronting those who take the name of our precious Lord in vain by politely asking that they refrain from doing so as it offends (or should offend) us. What are your thoughts?

My Word is My Bond

The following is a facebook note written & posted by our daughter:

I've been learning a lot in recent days as you may have noticed from a recent status that I posted on how much our actions can reflect not only on others, but on God. I used a selection of a quote that I read from Thomas Manton, quoted here in full: "Men are apt to think of God by his worshippers, and by the people that profess themselves near and dear to Him; therefore it concerns us to walk so that our lives may honour Him." This passage really hit home for me as I know recently my actions and even my thoughts little reflect what I'd want others to view as a representation of Christ. This also brought to mind the question of what values we as followers of Christ /should/ be focusing on. Love and outreach to the community are fantastic examples for others, but what about how we treat our fellows believers and close friends? What qualities are we presenting to them in our day to day lives? Two qualities that have really come to my attention lately are those of communication and dependability. After all, much of faith in God grows just through communication with Him directly to provide reassurance, comfort, and even lay our problems on Him. Why do we do this? Because we can depend on God.

There was a time when a handshake or a man's word would be enough to secure a deal, but in today's world, one must have a signed and notarized legal document in which one or both parties can sue if the other does not fulfill their end of the deal. People have become so forgetful of their commitments in day to day life that these contracts could come in handy when scheduling appointments and a person's word is meaningless. The frightening thing is when Christians are the ones who are failing the most and regret to see the importance of these things. To quote Manton again, "We seem to exalt God much in our talk and profession; yea, but we throw Him down, when we pollute Him and deny Him in our conduct." I know even I am prone to do so, but many are afraid to commit to minute things today by utilizing the phrases "maybe", "we'll see", or "if nothing else comes up,". How does this come across to someone who is observing you from a distance as you leave a safeguard, afraid of the initial commitment in case something better or "more important" comes up. Not to mention, whatever person, albeit a friend, relative, significant other, or acquaintance, how do you think that person you're brushing off feels when you're reluctant to give your word? These little lapses in faithfulness may seem small or insignificant at first glance but points to what we may become in the future. One little lapse, once dismissed, leaves so much room for it to become a pattern as "it was just one mistake" and then leads to a reputation as such. Do we, as Christians, really want to be known for not being dependable when we're supposed to follow the Ultimate One to depend on? If we can't honor God in the little things, how can we honor Him on the larger scale?

Don't Twitter Away Your Life

Social networking utilities on the Internet are certainly mixed bags of blessings and cursings. As a general rule, facebook and myspace accounts only give its readers a very shallow and flat picture of ourselves, but occasionally it gives readers a glimpse into our hearts that they never expected to find, revealing new depths or the absence of character. While most status updates are worthless, silly glimpses into our lives, more often than not someone will make a statement that hurts feelings or rips someone's heart to its center. It always shocks me when I read those kind of unqualified statements which are generally directed at a particular person. This alone is enough to cause me to strongly dislike these networking or "gossip" tools. Some things are better left unsaid. We all need to be more careful that our behavior is God honoring....even over the Internet.

Expletives

People (self included) use too many expletives today. I am not referring to bad language alone, but mainly to the use of filler language. Filler language consists of words that do not add any meaning to a sentence. For example:

Who left this stupid light on?

Why do we need such words to express ourselves? Lights are neither stupid nor intelligent.

The other use of expletives, of which I am guilty, is to express emotions through phrases such as the following:

Oh, brother!
Good grief!
My word!
Blast! ...and so on.

These phrases in and of themselves do not express any emotion, but rather the tone of voice with which we say them clues the listener in to our present mood. So why, other than habit, do we use these particular words and phrases?

I believe it is because we are not a thinking people. I believe we speak without taking the time to carefully choose and guard our words. I also believe it is because we are not well read; we, instead, watch mindless drivel on TV, resulting in our mimicking the language of said verbal twaddle.

I am culpable in the use of this blather, but I would like to change this. Perhaps, I should carry a thesauraus with me??? (visualize Mrs. Calla Lilly with a sly grin) Perhaps, the real answer is that I need to be more prayerful in regards to my speech.

Do We Truly Love Our Neighbor?

Do we love our neighbor if we dress sloppily or immodestly?

Do we love our neighbor if we do not show good manners?

Do we love our neighbor if we do not step out of our comfort zones in order to reach out to them?


Do we love our neighbor if our speech is vulgar or brash?





 

Acceptable Speech

I Corintians 13:1-3
If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3 If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing.

Gentle readers,

In this surreal world of blogging and message boards, it easy to forget that there is a real person reading your thoughts and words - a real person with feelings and convictions all their own. You do not know what is going on in that other person's life at present or their background or their level of maturity in the faith. Words are so very powerful and can do great damage without the speaker (or typist) even being aware of the outcome.

If you have a differing opinion, it is fine to state such, but in a loving way. To call someone (especially a commentor on a blog, rather than the blogger herself) "inconsistent" or state that they are not "using their Bible to form their beliefs" is to resort to name calling. If one has such strong opinions as to feel the need to express their opinions in such a bold way, perhaps he or she should start their own blog in order to let their voice be heard. Such comments will not be allowed here as they are not gracious or edifying to the Body of Christ.

Ephesians 4:1-3
I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, 2 with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, 3 eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.

Blessings and peace,
Calla Lilly

Watch Your Language!

Ephesians 4:29
Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.

Ephesians 5:4
Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving.

Colossians 3:8
But now you must put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth.

There are many things that I could say about today's Christians' conversation and speech - such as taking the Lord's name in vain, minced oaths, gossiping, lying by exaggeration, inappropriate use of words such as awesome..., but time and space will not allow for that at present.

What is on my mind at present is the crudeness with which so many of us choose to speak. It seems as though what is commonplace for the world, too often is commonplace for the children of God as well. Speech that is common, vulgar, or insulting does not belong to the person who is controlled by the Spirit of God. Included in this list are junior curse words, which mean the same thing as the grown-up versions. The notion of cleaning up one's vocabulary seems foreign or wholly unnecessary to the average Christian, but I suggest that we could each stand to step outside of ourselves (self included) and review our speech.

When someone pulls out in front of you traffic, what do you say? When you drop and egg on your newly mopped floor, what's the first word that comes to your mind? When you feel that you have received unfair treatment, what do you think?

Philippians 4:8
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.

Are You Clothed in Gentleness Today?

gen·tle (jntl) KEY

ADJECTIVE:
gen·tler , gen·tlest

Considerate or kindly in disposition; amiable and tender.
Not harsh or severe; mild and soft
Easily managed or handled; docile

For the Christian, gentleness is not an option; it is a mandate set forth in Scripture. The world is tough, rude, and brash, but we are to be different. Do we take the time to be considerate, or are we impatient and short? Are we easily managed or do others feel the need to "handle us with kid gloves"? Ask the Lord to clothe you in His gentleness today as you deal with others.

Can You Tell the Difference?

Lately, my husband and I have been very disturbed about the state of today's Christian youth, particularly the homeschool crowd. What disturbs us is that some of our daughter's non-Christian friends behave better than most of her Christian, homeschool friends. Many homeschoolers today are rude, disrespectful, angry, immodest, complaining, apathetic about the faith,...I could go on with quite a long list. I'm not saying our daughter is perfect, but I would be mortified to hear that she displayed any of these characteristics. These are young people who have had the most exposure to the things of God and have supposedly been brought up in the faith. Then, there is my daughter's e-mail friend in Rwanda who has so little and suffered so much, and yet, her faith is so refreshingly vibrant and ever blossoming. We, who are Christian parents in America, have much to answer for before God. We are failing. It is time to wake-up. I will be mulling this over in my brain for quite some time. In the meantime, watch and pray. 

Blurred Lines Between Public and Private

  


Too often today the lines between public and private are blurred. This can be seen in our conversations and our behavior. It is a trend that has even reached into the heart of the church, removing her inhibitions and shame and replacing them with rebelliousness and pride.

Today it is not uncommon for Christians to “air their dirty laundry” in public through conversation, gossip prayer requests, message boards, or blogs; thereby dishonoring their parents, spouses, children, siblings, or friends. Do we truly love our neighbor if we are complaining about them to others? Are we seeking God’s face and lifting our family up in prayer, or do we bypass God and seek friends who will be on “our side” in our petty wars?

Young girls have no qualms about discussing their monthly cycles with friends – including boys. Boys and girls alike discuss with great animation how “far” they have been members of the opposite sex. Is nothing sacred anymore? Why do Christian teens feel more comfortable discussing their sexuality than their faith?

The line between public and private has also been blurred in the way we dress. Less than one generation ago, it would have been scandalous for a young girl to accidentally, much less deliberately, expose her bra strap, now it is commonplace. Boys sag their pants to arrogantly display their boxers, girls parade their bellies with midriffs and low rise pants that get lower with each season. Even more than that, it seems to matter little what size one’s belly is – flaunt whatever you’ve got.

There is no longer any shame in the world. Reserve and guilt (no matter how genuine) are seen as vices. We flaunt our sin blatantly. Americans hold self-esteem in such high regard that it matters not whether or not we possess something to be truly proud of. Whatever happened to boasting in Christ or seeking to cover someone’s sin in God’s love? Whatever happened to being a real parent who taught their children where the lines were drawn and made sure their children did not stray? Whatever happened to honoring our spouses by building them up rather than tearing them down?


Are they ashamed of their loathsome conduct? No, they have no shame at all; they do not even know how to blush. So they will fall among the fallen; they will be brought down when I punish them, says the Lord. This is what the Lord says, Stand at the crossroads and look; ask for the ancient paths, ask where the good way is, and walk in it, and you will find rest for your souls… Jeremiah 6:15-16

You are now at a crossroads; what will you do?

Pretty is - is Pretty Does

I often listen to my daughter's conversation with friends (yes, they know I'm listening) and very often, the conversation will eventually come round to the topic of where all the "real" men have gone. Lately, I have been wondering where the ladies have gone as well. While we probably aren't groomed like the girl in the photo here, what about our behavior? Are we as abrasive or loud as this girl's hair? Or, do we have a gentle and quiet spirit? It is not enough to be delicate on the outside; we must be delicate on the inside as well. This does not mean we are weak. Trust me, real women have great strength of character, but that strength is in the Lord - not in the toughness of the world. The next time someone cuts you off in traffic or treats you unfairly, remember this photo and ask yourself if your response mimics this girl's hair or imitates the character of Christ. 

Mall Madness

My mother and I have a long history of shopping. When I was quite small, we would go shopping with my aunt all day on Saturdays. At lunch, we would eat a department store where ladies chatted while enjoying their meals served on real china complete with linen table cloths and napkins (there were no straws,either), fresh flowers on the tables, and a strolling fashion show waltzed by their tables. Those were happy memories for both of us as we enjoyed the delicate side of the female life. Not so anymore.

While visiting my family, my mother and I attempted to shop at the mall. There are no longer any department store restaurants, only fast food establishments that do not even offer paper plates, much less a nice place to enjoy your meal. There is no tinkling of silverware on china, sounds of ladies chatting pleasantly, or models in beautiful dresses coming by your table. Instead there is piped in music that does not lend civility, the sound of obscenities uttered by scantily and roughly clad youth, and visually assaulting photographs in the store windows revealing more about the models' bodies than I care to ever know and their lack of moral fortitude equaling their lack of clothing.

My mother, daughter, and I did not last very long at the mall as we were quickly disheartened and disgusted. We were there long enough, however, for a lone young woman in a long skirt and head covering to ask my daughter where she purchased her skirt. :) She was the only person we could find (other than ourselves) that was dressed decently. Now mind you, we were not expecting everyone to wear skirts. We were merely hoping for a little more of people's assets to be covered. :)

My question is this - as Satan desires for the lines between genders to be blurred and the authority of man as head of the household undermined with feminazi-ism, who will be strong and stand in the gap? Who will present a living picture of biblical femininity?

Commitment

In the years following World War II, thousands of couples ran off to get married. For many of them, the place they ran off to was Piggott.
Between 1945 and 1953 more than 28,000 couples were married in this Northeast Arkansas town, which even today has a population of only 3,700 residents. In 1950 alone, the number of marriages totaled 5,960.

Like other states after World War II, Arkansas had a three-day waiting rule for issuing marriage licenses. But unlike many other states, Arkansas also had a clause that allowed the county judge to waive the waiting period under special circumstances or emergencies.

In Clay County, Arkansas, the county judge at that time took the position that any wedding was a special circumstance, and couples flocked across the Arkansas state line into Piggott by the droves. Couples lined the hallways of the old two-story brick courthouse and spilled out the front doors and down the sidewalk, waiting for their turn for a quick wedding in the county clerk’s vault.

A pastime for Piggott residents became watching the couples lined up around the courthouse square, some in wedding finery, others ranging from work clothes to Sunday best. Some bought their wedding clothes after they arrived in Piggott, changing in the recesses of the courthouse. A florist on the square sold bouquets and boutonnieres to those waiting in line.

The above is a photo of the old courthouse where my parents ran off to get married 55 years ago. Tomorrow they are traveling back to Piggott for a special reception for those who were married at the court house.

In today's disposable society, it is rare to have a marriage that lasts that long. People may ask how my parents or my husband's parents (married 60 years) stayed together so long. The answer lies in a commitment to God and taking one's vows seriously.

Yes, our parents truly love each other, but anyone who has been in a long term relationship knows that sometimes feelings get hurt, tempers flair, and fleeting thoughts of a way out slip into our emotionally charged minds. It is, therefore, crucial that we teach our children to be true to their word and keep promises made - that means we must keep our promises to them. :) Our word should be our bond. Jesus said that we should let our "yes" mean yes and our "no" mean no. Vows and promises are something God takes seriously, and so should we.

How long have I been married? 18 short and happy years. :)