Why does happiness elude modern women?

By: Meghan Cox Gurdon
Examiner Columnist | 5/27/09 5:56 PM
Over the last four decades, American women have got almost everything the feminist movement promised. Lucky us! Are we happy now?

No, we are not. All across the industrialized world, wherever egalitarian feminism has sprinkled its fairy dust, women report that they are considerably less happy and satisfied with life then were their benighted, patriarchy-oppressed, apron-wearing sisters of yore.

“The Paradox of Declining Female Happiness,” a new study conducted by Wharton academics Betsey Stevenson and Justin Wolfers, finds that the happiness of Western women has been steadily declining over the exact period during which egalitarian feminism has supposedly been delivering the goods.

Given the shifts “of rights and bargaining power from men to women in the past 35 years, holding all else equal, we might expect to see a concurrent shift in happiness towards women and away from men,” the authors write.

However, they have found, “measures of women’s subjective well-being have fallen both absolutely and relatively to that of men.”

How can this be? After all, didn’t feminism achieve what it wanted? Women are today not just free to pursue education, but now actually outnumber men on university campuses.

Women are not simply going out to work, but are in a position to exude wisdom and empathy from the highest levels of government and commerce.

Women are not only able to control their fertility, as radical feminists demanded, but today girls too young to vote are considered old enough to prescribe themselves the morning-after pill.

And it turns out that all this success – or “success,” depending on your degree of irony – has not made women happier.

Nor, of course, has it satisfied the ever-complaining feminist-industrial complex so brilliantly mocked by critic Camille Paglia as “a jumble of vulgarians, bunglers, whiners, French faddicts, apparatchiks, dough-faced party-liners, pie-in-the-sky utopians and bullying sanctimonious sermonizers.”

The study’s authors are cautious about drawing too-hasty conclusions from what they’ve discovered. Coincidence does not automatically mean causation. It’s also true that happiness is in some ways a mystical quality. Inner contentment derives not just from how cheerful we may feel but also from our position relative to the opinions and successes of others.

Yet the findings are striking. Before egalitarian feminism came along and substantially rewrote everyone’s scripts – in courtship, job expectations, domestic satisfaction, purpose in life -- women reported greater contentment than men.

Today, those positions are reversing. “A new gender gap is emerging,” conclude Stevenson and Wolfers, “one with higher subjective well-being for men.”

(The authors note the perverse effects of the sexual revolution sought by feminists: Men “may have been able to disproportionately benefit” from the “increased opportunities” yielded by the spreading social acceptance of children born out of wedlock, the use of birth control, abortion, and divorce.)

To conservative critics of feminism, and indeed to dissident feminists like Paglia, none of this will be remotely surprising.

The anecdotal experience of millions, along with the analysis by women such as Christina Hoff Sommers, Mary Eberstadt, Danielle Crittenden, Barbara Dafoe Whitehead, and Kay Hymowitz, all confirm what the Wharton academics discovered: Far from enhancing the lives of modern women, in many respects the feminist movement has diminished women’s happiness and satisfaction.

“The increased opportunity to succeed in many dimensions may have led to an increased likelihood of believing that one’s life is not measuring up,” Stevenson and Wolfers write.

“Similarly, women may now compare their lives to a broader group, including men, and find their lives more likely to come up short in this assessment. Or women may simply find the complexity and increased pressure in their modern lives to have come at the cost of happiness.”

Examiner columnist Meghan Cox Gurdon is a former foreign correspondent and a regular contributor to the books pages of The Wall Street Journal. Her Examiner column appears on Thursdays.

Feminists Come Full Circle....it's about time!

I would give props to whoever wrote this article but I can't tell who wrote it....it comes from the link above.


Feminist pioneer’s rethink: ‘a woman’s place is in the home’
Erin Pizzey claims freedom of choice doesn’t work
SHE IS one of feminism's pioneers and founder of the UK's first refuge for victims of domestic violence, but after decades of fighting for women's rights Erin Pizzey has come to a startling conclusion: women should stay at home and look after the children while men go out to work.

Her revelations don't stop there. Pizzey also believes that with mothers away from home working, their child's development will be harmed. Her views are supported by new research conducted by Birbeck College in London, which suggests that the longer children are in childcare, as opposed to with parents, the more aggressive they become.

Pizzey's remarks are part of new BBC2 documentary The Trouble With Working Women, which explores why men still dominate the top jobs and earn on average £369,000 more in the course of a lifetime than women. It will be screened tomorrow night.

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In the programme, she says: "I think the traditional way the family was run has been going for thousands of years and it works. What I see now is men disenfranchised from their roles. Women are lost because they now have to work full-time. They don't have a choice. There is no proper child care, there's nobody home when the children come home."

In 1971 Pizzey opened a refuge for women suffering from domestic violence. It soon attracted public funding and became Women's Aid.

A noted contrarian, Pizzey has rarely been predictable in her views on feminism. She has previously suggested that some women were attracted to abusive relationships, drawing harsh criticism from other feminists.

In the documentary she says she now considers the idea of women having it all - a family and a career - to be a myth.

She adds: "I don't think anybody foresaw what that freedom of choice would do. It's imprisoned many women. They don't have a choice - they have to work hard and I just see an exhausted generation of women trying to do it all."

According to ongoing research by Jay Belsky, a professor of psychology at Birbeck College, Pizzey's fears are being borne out.

Research done in America as part of the college's Families, Children and Child Care study of 1200 children claims to show that the more time young children spend in care in their early years, the more aggressive and disobedient they will be by the time they reach primary school.

Belsky said the quality of the care did not change his findings.

"I don't want to catastrophise and make it sound like we're developing axe murderers: there's no evidence of that. What is important, though, is that these effects in the American data emerged even when the quality of care was good."

He added: "I think there is some reason to question full-time childcare beginning very early in life."

The study is currently following the effect on children of daycare through primary school, but will continue to monitor case studies in secondary school too.

Belsky, however, does cautiously suggest that women can still combine successful careers with childcare. Parents just need to be careful.

He said: "One of the theoretical foundations of this would be that parents or even grandparents have stakes or investments or commitments to children that, literally and figuratively, money can't buy."

Where Have All the Men Gone?

Lately, I have been saddened by the lack of young men who are not afraid of responsibility or being faithful to honor their commitments...or even make a commitment. Guess what, ladies? It's largely our own fault. Even if you're not a femi-nazi out to conquer the world, you may have unconsciously had a hand in the disappearance of the true man. Here are a few things we ladies may need to consider taking on:

Stop enabling them! If a guy asks you to "hang-out" or says he will call you and then never contacts you about when & where; don't call, text, message, or contact him in anyway. This only encourages an avoidance of responsibility.

If a young man who proposes to you still lives at home, think twice about accepting him. Before a young man marries, in the best of all worlds, he needs to have proved that he can provide for you.

Stop man shopping. Proverbs 31 says "he who finds a wife" not "she who finds a husband." Do you really want a man you had to chase down? Young women pursuing young men encourages a passive male role in the relationship.

Stop the excessive flirting. Again, this puts you as the pursuer.

Dress modestly!!!! If you dress like a street walker, you're going to be treated like a street walker. If you dress for respect, you're more likely to receive respect. If you dress feminine, you are more likely to be treated as a lady.

Give guys a chance. Pause for a brief moment before opening a door; give him the chance to open it for you. Stand by your chair momentarily before being seated; allow him the opportunity to pull it out for you. This can be applied to SO many things.

Stop man bashing!!!! This is so unbecoming and no one really benefits from it.

Stop competing with men...even in conversation. No one likes to be "one up-ed" particularly in a group setting.

When you see a young man behaving like a man, praise or thank him! Positive reinforcement goes a long way.

Seek to serve your father, your brothers, and brothers in Christ in a way that honors and pleases God.

Be respectable in your behavior, without crude jesting. Be worthy of a man by being a godly woman.

Purity From the Heart

I am a big fan of Stacy McDonald's Raising Maidens of Virtue. Below is an article that will give you a taste for the book.

The Great Masquerade: An Impure Façade
by Stacy McDonald
In like manner also, that the women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with propriety and moderation, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or costly clothing, but, which is proper for women professing godliness, with good works. (1 Timothy 2:9-10, NKJV)
“But it doesn’t matter what I wear!” Sarah scoffed. “God sees my heart!” Sarah finished putting on her lipstick while Hannah tried in vain to reason with her old friend.
“Yes, God sees your heart,” Hannah explained, “but nobody else does—especially boys—they see that.” Hannah swept her hand in front of Sarah’s revealing outfit. “Don’t you see? They’re too distracted by what you’re wearing to notice you.”
“But that’s my point! I don’t care if boys notice me or not.” Hannah smiled coyly. “I just care what God thinks, and He can see my heart.”
Hannah sighed, “My mom always says that whatever is in our hearts will eventually show up on the outside—in what we wear, how we carry ourselves, what we say, how we treat others, and . . .”
“Okay, okay, I get your point.” Sarah tugged at her skirt, which suddenly seemed shorter than ever before. She wasn’t in any mood to listen to her friend today. Lately, Hannah seemed to have become more and more legalistic, and her comments were really beginning to irritate Sarah.
Sarah continued applying another layer of mascara and turned to her friend in exasperation. “Look, Hannah, I’m glad you’re so concerned about my soul and all, but I don’t see things the way you do. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with what I’m wearing, and I don’t think God does either. I’m just dressing like everybody else. Besides, if a guy lusts, that’s his problem!” Sarah nervously buttoned another button on her blouse. “So please stop judging me!”
Changing Our Culture for Christ
Have you ever had a conversation like this? Many people believe that we should draw our modesty standards from what is commonly worn in our particular culture or era. Of course, if that were entirely true, we could also say that if we were born in a remote jungle where everyone walked around nude, then we, as jungle Christians, could also forego clothing. Another problem with this type of thinking is that God intends Christians to be dominion takers—people who influence our culture for Christ rather than the other way around.
Consider the popular clothing styles, the slang, and even the liberal moral trends followed by a huge portion of our society. Much of what we see comes directly from Hollywood actors, television icons, and pop music stars. Instead of being a people set apart (Proverbs 23:17), the Church sadly reflects this same tendency.
Therefore “Come out from among them And be separate,” says the Lord. “Do not touch what is unclean, And I will receive you. I will be a Father to you, And you shall be My sons and daughters,”says the Lord Almighty. Therefore, having these promises, beloved, let us cleanse ourselves from all filthiness of the flesh and spirit, perfecting holiness in the fear of God. (2 Corinthians 6:17-7:1, NKJV)
If we visit almost any church youth group, we will see young ladies who speak, walk, dress, and flirt exactly like the daughters of the heathen. This has resulted from our love of and conformity to the world, a condition that the Church largely fails to recognize. Christians must be conformed to the image of Christ (Romans 8:29), and our uniqueness should be evident to the world.
Today’s young people have turned from the influence of their parents and grandparents (Proverbs 7:1-2) and embraced instead the persuasive tactics of the ungodly. Imitation is called the highest form of flattery—we tend to imitate those we esteem and want to emulate. If we imitate the world, exactly what do we communicate? “ Beloved, do not imitate what is evil, but what is good. He who does good is of God, but he who does evil has not seen God” (3 John 11, NKJV).
If It Feels Good, Wear It?
Others take a relativistic approach to modesty. These women believe that if they feel modest in their clothing, that’s all that matters—and too bad for the poor guy sitting in the church pew behind them! We need to remember that when it comes to obeying God, feelings are irrelevant. Scripture, not our personal, creative moral standard, must be our authority.
If Scripture teaches us that we are to dress in “modest apparel” (1 Timothy 2:9), then there must be immodest apparel as well. We know from Proverbs 7:10 that the adulterous woman seduced her lover with flattery and the “ attire of a harlot.” What does this mean?
Although God doesn’t give us fashion specifics or sewing patterns, He clearly states that we are to dress and behave modestly. He has created us distinctively female and has instructed us throughout Scripture to be chaste. What, then, does chastity require?
Chastity Communicates Christ
Chastity before marriage reflects both purity of the body and a wholesome thought life. A chaste young woman will not flaunt her body or flirt with young men. Instead, she is adorned by her modest demeanor and discreet speech. Rather than focusing on “how far” she can go, she guards even her thoughts by concentrating on her relationship with Christ and faithfulness to her future husband.
After marriage, a woman reflects chastity through her faithfulness to the purity of the marriage bed—both literally and as reflected in speech and attitude. A chaste wife delights in her husband, happily reserving her body for him. Her speech is wholesome, she is not idle, and she refrains from activities that would compromise her own or her husband’s reputation. Chastity, in other words, is a way of life, the essence of who we are as Christian women. “That they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed” (Titus 2:4-5, NKJV).
A chaste woman guards her reputation (the way she is regarded or perceived by others) by making certain never to portray herself falsely as tainted or impure. Such an unholy picture would bring shame upon the name of Christ, herself, and her husband or father. Scripture tells us that this literally “blasphemes the word of God” (Titus 2:5) by inviting the heathen to believe a lie about His power and holiness.
Webster’s 1828 Dictionary defines the word blaspheme this way: “To speak of the Supreme Being in terms of impious irreverence; to revile or speak reproachfully of God, or the Holy Spirit.” If the world looks at the way we dress or behave and sees impurity, we have failed to communicate Christ in a “pious” or “reverent” way. This in turn allows the world to “speak reproachfully” of our most holy God.
Certainly, many of today’s seemingly unchaste Christian women do not intentionally blaspheme God through their dress or actions. Instead, they have so immersed themselves in modern culture that they have become blind to the pure, the lovely, and the good. Most of us, desensitized since childhood by the media and peer influences, find it difficult to differentiate between that which is pure and good and that which is nothing more than whitewashed filth.
Therefore, we must diligently search out the principles in Scripture that apply to modesty, chastity, and femininity, and be willing to conform cheerfully to what we learn—no matter how much we love those old jeans or how “cute” we find that new skirt!
Christians have mimicked the heathen for so long—copying their fashions, borrowing their educational and social philosophies, conforming to their dating format, and adopting their dialect—that we do not even recognize the loss of our Christian identity. We have worn the costume and spoken the language of the world for so long that we no longer recognize ourselves. Unfortunately, neither does anyone else.
If the Church does not reform its thinking to line up with Scripture, what hope do we have for change? If Christian women do not begin to consistently communicate biblical beauty, femininity, and modesty, how will our culture understand and appreciate the delicate appeal and power of virtuous womanhood?
Instead of mirroring the behavior or appearance of the latest pop star, Christian young women can show our culture a better alternative —one that is wholesome, pure, and lovely. Through our clothing, speech, behavior, and conversation, we have the opportunity to reveal to the world a beautifully honest picture of the holiness and purity of Christ.
The following discussion questions are excerpted from Raising Maidens of Virtue: A Study of Feminine Loveliness for Mothers and Daughters.
1. Have you ever thought about what you look like from behind—how tight or sheer your clothing is? Ask your mother to stand behind you and watch you walk. Ask her if she thinks you swing your hips or swagger.
2. How is modesty a heart issue? Discuss ways that heart issues show up in our actions.
3. When you walk up a flight of stairs, what do men behind you see? What types of clothing would be the most modest in this situation?
4. Have you ever worn a long, flowing skirt or dress? How did it make you feel? How did others view you? Did it properly cover your private areas with no problem?
5. Do you wear skirts that have slits that are cut higher than you would actually wear your skirt? What happens when you walk or sit? What happens on a windy day?
6. Is your clothing modest to the people who are sitting behind you in church? Ask your mother or a wise female friend to stand behind you while you bend over to pick up a book. Now do the same with them standing in front of you. What did she see? What would your father think?
7. Raise your hands high above your head. Does your tummy show? You may think, “I’ll never be walking around with my hands above my head,” but this is a good all-around test. I’ve seen young ladies in blouses that seemed modest until they bent over to pick up a toddler or had to reach up high on a shelf.
8. How low is your neckline? Look in the mirror while holding onto your knees. Do you see cleavage? If so, everyone else does too! If you are fuller in the chest area, you may need to be more careful of certain fabrics. Sweaters, knits, and the newer “stretchy” fabrics tend to cling and accentuate the bust line, and tops that are too large fall open easily.
9. Be aware of where others’ eyes may be drawn. You want them to look at your face, not other parts of your body, while they are talking to you. Avoid garments that hug areas which should be kept private.
10. Would you feel naked wearing your nightgown or undergarments into a courtroom or church? What would your pastor and his wife think if you invited them over to supper, then answered the door in your underwear? Would they be shocked? Why do many of us think it is acceptable then to invite fellow Christians over for a pool party where everyone is wearing “colored underwear”? Discuss your answer with your mother (Romans 12:2).
11. Discuss how we have been conditioned by the world to accept public nakedness, all in the name of recreation and fun—or even Christian liberty. How should we change our thinking? (1Peter 1:14)
12. Talk about how someone can be dressed modestly from head to toe and still reveal an immodest demeanor.
Read Proverbs 7:10-11 and Proverbs 31:22, 25.
13. Look up the following words in the dictionary. Discuss with your mother how they might apply to immodesty:
Conceit Haughtiness Egocentric Ostentatious What is the root sin of each of these offenses? 14. Read all of Proverbs chapter 7. Do you see what could be described as the “attire of a harlot” in the styles offered in most department stores today? What do you think is meant by “her feet abide not in her house?” Was the woman described in Proverbs 7 modest? Was she focused on serving her husband and her household faithfully or on gratifying herself? Men tend to sin by lusting after women, while women tend to sin by lusting to be lusted after. Lust is the very opposite of love because it takes instead of gives. 15. If a maiden knowingly exposes private parts of her body or wears clothing that may incite lust in a young man, then she is acting selfishly. Again, this is the opposite of what Scripture describes as love. Do you think the Proverbs 7 woman loved the young man she enticed? Do you think she enjoyed flaunting her body? Have you ever chosen an outfit because you thought it might get the attention of a boy? Pray about your answer. Discuss the selfish motives behind choosing your wardrobe this way.
Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. (1 Corinthians 13:4-7)
16. Are you dressing for the approval of man or God? Is your goal to impress or attract others or to be pleasing to God and to glorify Him? Be honest!

Don't Marry a Career Woman

It seems that there has been quite a stir made by Forbes Magazine's article on the above title. Feminists came out of the wood work to complain and whine. Could it be because they fear they will never marry now???? (Mrs. Calla Lilly now smiles, and takes her tongue out of her cheek.) Frankly, I applaud the author's courage in stating the facts.

The Dress of War

If someone told you to sketch a portrait in your minds eye, could you? It's not hard to do. How about a Muslim woman, shrouded in thick black veils? Now picture a "alluring" woman out to have a good time on the town. But this is harder: can you picture a Christian woman? It is easy to identify a policeman, soldier, fireman, and even sometimes a politician, but shouldn't we be able to point out a Christian maiden just as simply?...

Follow the link above for a must read article on dress.

New Modesty

New modesty – Catholic program fights back against fashion industry
By Sara Loftson4/27/2006
The Catholic Register
TORONTO, Canada (The Catholic Register) – These days Emily Morrow-Fick keeps busy organizing runway lessons, wardrobe fittings and easing last-minute stage fright as she prepares 55 young girls to take center stage at a Pure Fashion show here.
"It's not just about fashion, a lot of it is teaching girls how to present themselves without feeling like they have to act like Britney Spears or Paris Hilton," said Morrow-Fick, 18, a student at St. Mary's College and the co-chair for Pure Fashion in Calgary.
Pure Fashion is a Catholic program that promotes modest dress for girls in grades 8 through 12.
Young women attend training sessions to learn about the virtues of modesty, purity and chastity, as well as the ins and outs of hair, make-up and posture. This all leads up to a fashion show where the girls model all that they've learned on the catwalk.
"Trendy but tasteful" is the catch phrase national chairwoman Brenda Sharman uses to describe the philosophy behind Pure Fashion.
"Pure Fashion has grown into a whole person developmental program. Modesty is more than what you wear on the outside, it has to be an exterior reflection of an interior attitude," Sharman, who brings 20 years experience in modeling and acting to Pure Fashion, told The Catholic Register in a telephone interview from Atlanta, Ga.
"Their intention should be to turn as many hearts as possible, not heads."
Pure Fashion lists specific clothing guidelines girls are to abide by during the fashion show and potentially retain once it's over. Material must not be thin nor sheer, necklines should not be four fingers bellow the collar bones and skirts and dresses should be no shorter than four fingers above the top of the kneecaps are three examples.
"Girls are very hesitant to accept the idea of being modest in a society that tells them to wear short shirts, heavy eye make-up and act ditzy. They are hesitant to be more confident unless they are wearing these clothes," said Morrow-Fick.
Not all girls buy into the Pure Fashion message, but the program is meant to plant a seed for the future, added Morrow-Fick.
Sharman agrees living out the principles of Pure Fashion is not easy. "It's a countercultural message because right now all the things you read are about how to be hot and sexy."
Anne Moroney, 14, has been sold on the Pure Fashion message. She is preparing for her third fashion show at the Spruce Meadows Congress Hall May 7 in Calgary.
"I really like fashion and clothes but I also think that we should stand up for all the rest of the girls and show we can be stylish and modest and really show our dignity and show we're worth dressing nicely," said Moroney, who convinced two girlfriends to join her this year.
Moroney said it helps having peers who also practice modesty. "There's always pressure to dress immodestly, especially from girls your age and our culture is very immodest. You'll go into a store and try on something immodest because it's hard to find other clothes."
Barbara Moroney said she's noticed her daughter's confidence has increased since modeling with Pure Fashion. She welcomes the modest message coming from outside the home.
"The pressure is for them to sell their body,” said Moroney, a Catholic who home-schools Anne and her five other children. “In many ways they are still little girls so I think it's about trying to protect them without becoming the enemy, but sometimes it can be a battle. They tend to say the parents are the bad guys."
The Moroney family got involved with Pure Fashion through the Challenge Girl Club, a Catholic leadership program for girls within Regnum Christi, an international Catholic lay and religious movement. Seven years ago, a group of mothers and daughters in the United States decided to hold small informal fashion shows that promoted modest dress in church halls and basements.
It's grown to 15 chapters in the United States and one permanent location in Calgary that started three years ago. In just three years, the Calgary chapter has grown, its budget going from $2,500 to $35,000. The ultimate goal is to make Pure Fashion into a product that can be franchised, said Jodie Britton, chairwoman for Pure Fashion Calgary.
Britton's unchurched background inspired her interest in the program. "I can attest coming from teenage years without Christ that there's no fulfillment in shopping or boys," said Britton, mother of three boys.
She said she tries to help girls become real models as role models. She believes girls who learn the virtue of modesty are models for living chastely later in life. "The girls that I do know that are 18-19 are able to be more well-balanced and peaceful and happy because they've remained pure of body and heart so the temptations just aren't there in a relationship."
Pure Fashion is slowly expanding in Canada. Vancouver and Edmonton have hosted informal Pure Fashion shows and in just under two months a group of women in Halifax slapped together a Pure Fashion show held April 2. After four preparatory sessions, Keri Webber was one of 25 models aged 10-18 who strutted down the catwalk.
"It was really fun. (It) made you realize how much you come across to other people," said Webber, 17, a Grade 11 student who had no previous modeling experience.
Webber said after the show she went to Old Navy and bought all the outfits she modeled in the show.
Melanie Douchesne had a similar experience. Since participating in the show she doesn't wear low-cut shirts or low-rise pants. "I can bend down and not worry about my underwear sticking out."
"I find once you're out of high school it's not as bad," said Melanie Douchesne, an 18-year-old first-year student at St. Mary's University in Halifax. "I don't find that there is any pressure any more. I just wear the clothes that suit my personality."
Although Douchesne said she may be in the clear, she thinks junior and early high school-aged girls face the most pressure. "Everyone dresses up and tries to be that pretty girl in school. I see my little sister and her friends do it and they are only 14 and 15 years old."
In the first of four sessions, the girls learned how to stand up to the pressure of society and the media. They analyzed magazine ads, a recent university grad spoke about her battle with anorexia and two university-aged men described what they look for in a woman. They talked about how they wouldn't take an immodestly dressed girl seriously in the future, said Webber.
"The more skin girls show (the more) guys (stop) looking at them for their personality. They are more like they think she has a nice body," said Webber, explaining what she learned during the presentation.
"Our theme is looking good inside and out,” said Donna Webb, one of the workshop facilitators. “You might attract someone for a little while but will they stay?"
"My senses are assaulted all the time when I walk down the street,” Webb said. “There's no modesty, no purity left in the culture. And it's sending our young people in the wrong direction. We just want to open their eyes to a different way of life.”
Webb said although she doesn't have any daughters, she has a vested interest in teaching girls the value of modest dress.
"I have five sons. It's important to me the type of women they are going to be attracted to. They will be the mothers of my grandchildren."
Webb decided to spearhead the fashion show after she received a call from friend and Juno-nominated Catholic recording artist Janelle Reinhart. As the national spokesperson Reinhart composed the Pure Fashion theme song "It's a new day." She sings it at fashion shows across North America.
Webb and the other organizers were impressed with the 200-person audience and expressed interest in putting another show together next year.
Now that Pure Fashion is branded as its own organization, separate from Regnum Christi, it has its own logo, posters and Web site (www.purefashionshow.org), though does not tout itself as Catholic-run.
"If we are going to address this worldwide problem of immodesty then we have to be inclusive,” Sharman explained. “It's going to take all of us uniting as Christians to fight this battle because Satan has been alive and well in the fashion industry."

Pretty is - is Pretty Does

I often listen to my daughter's conversation with friends (yes, they know I'm listening) and very often, the conversation will eventually come round to the topic of where all the "real" men have gone. Lately, I have been wondering where the ladies have gone as well. While we probably aren't groomed like the girl in the photo here, what about our behavior? Are we as abrasive or loud as this girl's hair? Or, do we have a gentle and quiet spirit? It is not enough to be delicate on the outside; we must be delicate on the inside as well. This does not mean we are weak. Trust me, real women have great strength of character, but that strength is in the Lord - not in the toughness of the world. The next time someone cuts you off in traffic or treats you unfairly, remember this photo and ask yourself if your response mimics this girl's hair or imitates the character of Christ. 

WHAT?????!

This is from Slice of Laodicea:

Focus On the Family Supports Domestic Partners Bill
I received a disturbing press release from the Family Research Insitute's Dr. Paul Cameron. Cameron is a researcher and scientist who was the first to coin the term "second-hand cigarette smoke" years ago in his study of the harmful effects of smoking. For several years now, Dr. Cameron has been documenting scientifically the horrific effects of the homosexual lifestyle. He comes to the issue as a scientist who believes in the Word of God and who simply documents the terrible physical and relational results of this kind of sin. Dr. Cameron is raising the alarm over Focus on the Family's new position on domestic partnerships. Here is a link to a news article on this new position along with Dr. Cameron's press release which will follow. Compromise is everywhere these days.

Researcher Questions Dobson's Endorsement of Pro-Gay Bill
COLORADO SPRINGS, Co., Feb. 6 /Christian Newswire/ -- Dr. Paul Cameron -- Chairman of the Family Research Institute, a Colorado-based think tank -- has challenged Dr. James Dobson's endorsement of a bill before the Colorado legislature that would grant to gay partners many of the legal rights currently reserved to married couples. These rights would include property-sharing, decision- making powers over funerals and organ donations and, potentially health-care policy benefits. If adopted, the proposed legislation could force employers to cover gay partners -- no matter how ill.

Cameron said, "This is madness. Currently there is one voluntary relationship that immediately confers these benefits - marriage between a man and a woman. Married couples receive these benefits because they make substantial contributions to society. They are more economically productive, provide the best environment in which to raise children, and are the least likely to commit crimes. Homosexuals, on the other hand, are less economically productive, seldom produce children or raise them well, and are more likely to commit criminal acts. In addition, society should not reward relationships that tend to spread disease."

Noting the Christian dimensions of Dobson's Focus on the Family organization, Cameron pointed out that conferral of any part of marriage benefits to homosexuals is without precedent in the history of the Church. "Moses and St. Paul condemned homosexuality. As soon as the Church gained political power in the Roman Empire it outlawed homosexuality. Now Dobson tells society to give gays 'marriage lite' benefits. During the confirmation fight over Harriet Meyers, Dobson, in a somewhat ambiguous manner, told his radio audience that he was in favor of gay rights. His support of this 'marriage lite' bill removes the ambiguity. When the Denver Post, one of the most anti-family, anti-traditional newspapers on the planet, says it is "pleasantly surprised" by Dobson's support for "expanded legal benefits for same-sex couples," you know that a betrayal has occurred."

Dobson and Cameron were both prominent in getting Amendment 2 passed in Colorado in 1992. The Advocate, the premier gay rights magazine, listed Dobson #1 and Cameron #2 on the gay "enemies list" (1/31/06).

Sen. Shawn Mitchell, R carries the bill; the Denver Post celebrated Focus on the Family's new position in its lead editorial, Feb. 6., see: A Fresh Focus on Domestic Partners.



Posted by Ingrid on February 6, 2006 @ 02:58 PM

Betty Friedan Dies

&nbs 

What Betty Friedan Didn't Want You to Know
By Henry Makow Ph.D.
August 15, 2001

"Comrades, you will remember the ancient tale of the capture of Troy. . .The attacking army was unable to achieve victory until, with the aid of the famous Trojan Horse, it managed to penetrate to the very heart of the enemy camp."

George Dimitrov , the General Secretary of the Comintern (Communist International) speaking to the Seventh Meeting in August, 1935. Cited in Paul Johnson, Modern Times, (New York, 1983) p.323.

If I said Stalin was a Communist, would you accuse me of Red-baiting? No? Then you won't mind if I say Betty Friedan, the "mother of modern feminism" hid the fact that she was a Communist activist. I will provide the evidence in a moment.

As a former leftist-liberal, I am a typical example of how citizens of free countries have been brainwashed to underestimate the danger of Communism. I believed that Communism was basically an idealistic philosophy of public ownership. I wasn't concerned that it was a brutal dictatorship that murdered and enslaved millions. It didn't matter that the people weren't "free" because freedom was something I took for granted. I no longer take freedom for granted. A couple of years ago, although innocent, I was imprisoned by feminist domestic violence laws. Then, I was silenced at a feminist controlled university. Again, the feminist dominated media ignored my book, "A Long Way to go for a Date," a serious work of social protest. For me, it has been a slow and wrenching political and psychological awakening.

Communism was and is a worldwide movement. Although it has failed in Russia and China, its legacy in the West is alive and well. I am referring to the modern Feminist movement which is a child of the Cold War "Old Left," represented by Friedan, and the 1960's "New Left" represented by the Woman's Liberation Movement. The progeny is a radical, totalitarian party, which has gained incredible power by pretending to seek "equal rights" for women, by masquerading as "the women's movement." Feminism is a Trojan Horse. It has already inflicted incredible damage to our social fabric, culture and to our freedom. It has made us dysfunctional.

Communists, just like the Nazis, wanted totalitarian domination of the world. Their plan included a huge program of so called "Popular Front" organizations (of students, women, workers or artists) which, in the 1920's and 1930's, sought to subvert democracies. These groups invited non-Marxists to combat evil and creating a better world, thus satisfy a quasi-religious craving for meaning. Willi Munzenberg, an early confidante of Lenin, organized and controlled these fronts, and referred to them as "my Innocents' Clubs". He served Stalinism by expanding the range of propaganda to include protest marches, socialist publications, arts festivals, ad hoc committees and newspaper ads signed by celebrities. In the words of historian Stephan Koch, Munzenberg "was amazingly successful at mobilizing the intelligentsia of the West on behalf of a moralistic set of political attitudes responsive to Soviet needs. In the process, he organized and defined the "enlightened" moral agenda of his era." (Koch, Stephen, Double Lives: Spies and Writers in the Secret Soviet War of Ideas Against the West, New York, 1994, p.14.)

An essential ingredient of this campaign was a large network of prominent "opinion makers" (scientists, academics, artists, filmmakers) who raised money and spread the hidden Soviet message. These "fellow-travelers" included such writers as Lillian Hellman, Dorothy Parker, Dashiell Hammett, and Lincoln Steffins. These non-Communists were controlled and managed by Comintern agents; in the case of Steffins, his own wife. They were a smoke screen for ideas which would not have been accepted if their origin were known.

In a 1989 interview, Babette Gross, the wife of Willy Munstenberg, described the Popular Front modus operandi:

"You do not endorse Stalin. You do not call yourself a Communist. You do not call upon people to support the Soviets. Never. Under no circumstances.... You claim to be an independent minded idealist. You don't really understand politics but you claim the little guy is getting a lousy break. You believe in open-mindedness. You are shocked, frightened by what is going on here in our own country. You are frightened by the racism, by the oppression of the working man. You think the Russians are trying a great human experiment, and you hope it works. You yearn for international understanding. You hate fascism, You think the capitalist system is corrupt. You say all of that, over and over. And you say nothing more." (Koch, p. 220)

One of these Communist controlled "Popular Front" organizations was the "Congress of American Women" which was founded in 1946 and reached a membership of 250,000. It was disbanded in 1950 after being required to register as a "foreign agent" by the U.S. government. The feminist historian Ruth Rosen writes that the "CAW's agenda prefigured much of the modern women's movement that emerged in the sixties." (Ruth Rosen, The World Split Open: How the Modern Women's Movement Changed America, New York, 2000, p.28.)

Betty Friedan's The Feminine Mystique (1963) which sold more than five million copies, is considered the manifesto of the modern feminist movement. Friedan and Simon de Beauvoir, are the pioneers of modern feminism. In the book, Friedan describes herself as a typical suburban housewife and mother who had a revelation. She realized that women like herself are being exploited and dehumanized; and, she actually compared their plight with that of Nazi concentration camp inmates. She pointed to career as a woman's only path to identity and self-fulfillment.

What Friedan didn't say is that she wasn't a typical housewife. Rather, she had been a Marxist activist since her undergraduate years at Smith College (1938-1942) where she wrote for the college newspaper. She dropped out of grad school to become a reporter for a radical left wing news service. From 1946 -1952 she was a reporter for the union newspaper of the United Electrical, Radio and Machine Workers of America, (UE) "the largest Communist-led institution of any kind in the United States."

Daniel Horowitz, a Professor of History at Smith who has impeccable Liberal and feminist credentials, reports all of this. His book, published in 1999, is entitled Betty Friedan and the Making of the Feminine Mystique: The American Left, the Cold War and Modern Feminism (University of Massachusetts Press). The essence can be found in a 1996 article in American Quarterly which is available on the Internet. (http://muse.jhu.edu/demo/aq/48.1horowitz.html). There, Horowitz writes: "Her writings of the 1940's and early 1950's reveal that... Popular Front ideology shaped the way Friedan viewed American society and politics (11)."

Horowitz cites an anti-Communist union member who described how a Communist minority "seized control of the national office, the executive board, the paid-staff, the union newspaper and some district councils and locals" (12, emphasis mine.) In 1947, the U.S Congress, the Roman Catholic Church and large corporations, targeted the UE as a Communist front. Afterward its membership began a steady decline.

Betty Frieden didn't want anyone to know about her radical antecedents. Throughout her career, she perpetuated the myth that she had no interest in the condition of women before her "revelation." She refused to cooperate with Professor Horowitz and accused him of "Red-baiting."

Why? Because The Feminist Mystique would not have the same impact if her revolutionary agenda were known. Communists operate by subterfuge -- infiltrating, propagandizing and pretending to be like us. Friedan could not tell us who she really was. The same tactics are used by "feminists" whose very name, and claim to be "the woman's movement" is a smoke screen for a fanatical anti feminine, anti social crusade.

The radical "Left" stalled on the political/economic front in the US, but reinvented itself as a Popular Front-like social movement. Radical women, tired of their second-class status in the New Left, split off to form the "Woman's Liberation Movement." They applied "Marxist analysis" to their own experience, deciding that inequality and injustice was based on gender instead of class. By denying and eliminating gender differences, they would create a new utopia. Thus, feminists made women the oppressed proletariat and they made the destruction of the capitalist "patriarchy" their revolutionary agenda.

Communists used the chimera of a "just" and "classless" society to seek totalitarian power. Their feminist progeny is using the equally spurious promise of a sexless society to take power. Feminists do believe the destruction of heterosexuality will bring social justice.

The FBI kept tabs on the Women's Liberation Movement throughout the turbulent seventies but found no direct connection with Soviet subversion. Feminist historian Ruth Rosen, herself a veteran of the New Left, finds this ironic.

"Ironically, the FBI searched for signs of subversion in the Women's movement but couldn't recognize what was truly dangerous. While they looked for Communists and bombs, the women's movement was shattering traditional ideas about work, customs, education, sexuality, and the family. Ultimately the movement would prove far more revolutionary than the FBI could ever imagine. Feminism would leave a legacy of disorientation, debate and disagreement, create cultural chaos and social change for millions of men and women, and, in the process, help ignite the culture wars that would polarize American society. But at the time these ideas were not what the FBI considered subversive." (260)

By attacking the social fabric, feminists have inflicted more damage to Western society than Communists ever could have dreamed. Domestic violence hysteria has driven a wedge between men and women where none should exist. Heterosexuality and the family have declined. The birth rate has plummeted from 3.9 children per woman in 1960 to 1.5 today.[Replacement is 2.1] The future belongs to people who are having children. Under the guise of fighting "sexism," the nation's schools teach sexual dysfunction. They indoctrinate the young to deny their innate masculinity or femininity and to be open to homosexuality. In the media and universities, obeisance is paid to the feminist party line, or "political correctness." Feminist academics are busy replacing the cultural heritage of Western Civilization with their party nonsense. In the military, the introduction of women as combat soldiers has undermined efficiency and discipline. Soon we won't be in a position to defend our compromised values.

The feminist Trojan Horse has proven extremely effective.

Politicians and the public have been bamboozled. Most people think this movement represents the interests of women. This, in spite of being founded on three outrageous lies. They are:

Except for sex organs, men and women are psychologically identical.
Men have oppressed women.
Women can best achieve self-fulfillment in careers
Feminists --male and female-- believe these lies. They have made a huge psychological investment in them. And they are too ambitious to ask questions. Membership in the Feminist Party is now a prerequisite to advancement, just as Communist Party membership was in Soviet Russia. Politicians and media have also made a huge investment in this socially destructive philosophy. As a society, we are in denial.

Joseph Stalin and Soviet Russia may be dead but the monster it spawned roams the earth. Betty Friedan has done her job by keeping the legacy of Communism alive. Western society has been subverted.

The worst is yet to come.

A True Girl

Here is a passage from Mrs. Julia McNair Wright's The Complete Home:

A true girl, one who has the right to the name of lady does not desire to call public attention to herself. She must be sought for. She does not parade herself to general view. She is careful not to act or dress in a manner to make herself remarkable either for oddity, display, showy colors, or extravagance. Her dress and her manners are simple and refined. Her good taste regulates her tones, her words and her actions as well as her bonnets. She quietly does what she thinks she ought, and has a large reserve power of intelligence, wit, accomplishment, kind feeling. She does not show forth at one glance all her possessions, as some people who set all their silver forth on their tables at once, but she has an untold inheritance and acquistion of valuable things, which will only be discovered by a long acquaintance, when day by day she will surprise you by having a depth of strength, and culture, and lovingness beyond your pervious discerning. Such a girl is like an inexhaustible gold mine, while many girls are like the bogus mines, started by some crafty speculator, who has scattered a little gold and quartz along the surface. 

Alert from American Family Association

Possibly some of you have daughters who play with the American Girl
dolls or read their books. You may even be thinking about buying a
doll or books for Christmas. Well, it turns out American Girl (owned
by Mattel) is partnering with a group called Girls Inc. to sell a
bracelet, the "I Can" band, which financially supports Girls Inc.
Seventy cents of every purchase goes to Girls Inc. The band is sold on
the American Girl webpage with a large ad and a link to the Girls Inc.
webpage. In addition, the webpage says American Girl is giving $50,000
to Girls, Inc.

The problem here is that Girls Inc. has on their webpage a statement
saying they particularly support abortion and a girl's right to abort
an unwanted baby. They were quite clear about their support for Roe,
so there is no mistake or room for confusion on that count.
Additionally, Girls Inc. supports contraceptives for girls.

They also support and offer resources encouraging lesbian and
bi-sexual lifestyles, actually offering resources for girls. One of
their publications states, "The emergence of a lesbian identity is an
ongoing process, rather than an event."

Of course, American Girl itself is a separate company, unrelated to
Girls, Inc. except now by webpage and the seventy cents on every
bracelet. I checked out the Girls, Inc. website, and it is exactly as
I have told you. Below are some direct links, so that you can see them
for yourself.

- American Girl website offering "I Can" band to benefit Girls Inc.
store.americangirl.com/shop/ican.php

- Girls Inc. homepage
www.girlsinc.org/ic

- Girls Incorporated supports a woman's freedom of choice
www.girlsinc.org/ic/page.php?id=4.3.4

- Convenient access to safe, effective methods of contraception
www.girlsinc.org/ic/page.php?id=4.3.4

- Girls and Lesbian, Bisexual, and Questioning Identities
www.girlsinc.org/ic/conte...lgirls.pdf

- Free your mind: The book for gay, lesbian, and bisexual youth and
their allies.
www.girlsinc.org/ic/conte...sgirls.pdf

- Girls and Sexual Health (with sexual orientation on page 3)
www.girlsinc.org/ic/conte...Health.pdf

I hope you will take time to let American Girl know they are making a
terrible mistake by supporting the pro-abortion, pro-lesbian
organization, Girls Inc.

Please send them an email expressing your disappointment and let
American Girl president Ellen Brothers know the company's decision
casts a great shadow over their trustworthiness to put the welfare of
girls and children first.

Click Here To Email American Girl Now!
www.afa.net/Petitions/tak...asp?id=154

Sincerely,

Don

Donald E. Wildmon, Founder and Chairman
American Family Association

Longing For Days Gone By

Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have be thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal (especially his favourite dish) is part of the warm welcome needed.

Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.

Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.

Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives. Run a dustcloth over the tables.

Over the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering for his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.

Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Encourage the children to be quiet.

Be happy to see him.

Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.

Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first - remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.

Make the evening his. Never complain if he comes home late or goes out to dinner or other places of entertainment without you. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure and his very real need to be at home and relax.

Your goal: To try and make sure your home is a place of peace, order, and tranquillity where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.

Don't greet him with complaints and problems.

Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or have him lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him.

Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.

Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him.

A good wife always knows her place.

Yesteryear

This past weekend my in-laws gave a slide show of old family photos. Most of the snaps were of my husband as an infant and a child, but there were also pictures of church picnics and holidays. What I love most about these old slides is seeing how beautifully everyone dressed. All the women wore neatly pressed dresses, sometimes with gloves and hats. Everyone had neatly and attractively arranged hair. The men always had their shirts tucked in, and there were no baggy pants and slouchy t-shirts. Life was different then. People dressed modestly and with dignity because their hearts and lives were modest and dignified.

Teen Leads The Way In Modesty

Claire Halibur and her mother.


Teen offers new outlook for women
By JACQUELINE PINNPosted Thursday, September 1, 2005
JOLIET—

Dressed in a bright colored print blouse and a green skirt, the young woman looked like she had come out of an episode of “Little House on the Prairie.” While she admitted her different style of dress often gets odd looks from passersby; she is determined to serve as an example of modesty for women of all ages.

In today’s culture of teenage sexual exploration through dress and speech, Claire Halibur has found young women who are more interested in covering up rather than letting it all hang out. As a result, the 17-year-old Joliet native has created a modesty movement that offers resources for young women of all faiths.

Halibur and her mother Barbara sat down with the Catholic Explorer Aug. 26 to discuss the group and the issues that arise when young women follow the path of modesty in modern culture.

The idea to start a modesty movement came to Halibur in June of 2004 after the young woman had spoken at an international conference for young women in Wisconsin. “I gave a talk about how modesty and purity can work for young women in this day and age,” she said.
After her speech, Halibur was approached by young women asking for ways to follow the path of modesty. “When I started thinking about it, I realized that there really weren’t all that many resources concerning modesty, unless you know where to look for them,” she said.

That’s when Halibur decided to begin a movement, which would offer young women a place to find those resources and to connect with other girls their age. “I wanted to let them know that if they choose to begin a journey of modesty they will not be alone,” said Halibur.

When the time came to name the new movement, Halibur looked to her faith for inspiration. “The Blessed Mother, for example, should serve as the perfect role model in terms of modesty. After all she is one of the most beautiful and modest women history has ever known,” she said.
That is why Halibur calls her group the Rosa Mystica Modesty Movement. “Because one of the Blessed Mother’s names is the Rose of Mystery,” she said.

Clothing is only one of the avenues Halibur promotes when discussing the issue of modesty. “Modesty also concerns how you carry yourself, how you act and how you speak to other people,” she said.

As an example, Halibur spoke about young women she has seen dressed in halter-tops and short skirts. “Those women may act confident, but all their trying to do is get someone to notice how they are dressed, so they can feel good about themselves,” she said.

While she doesn’t put down actresses like Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie for the way they dress, Halibur does suggest that young women take a good long look at their role models and their lifestyles. “They may seem happy, but a deeper look might reveal a young woman who is really uncomfortable with the way she looks,” she said.

When discussing her own role models, Halibur said she looks to the Blessed Mother and the saints to guide her. “These are women who weren’t afraid to see their bodies as temples and to protect themselves, because they knew they were made in God’s image,” she said.

In particular, Halibur looks at the life of St. Philomena, a young Greek woman who died rather than be forced to marry a Roman emperor. “She was a young woman who stuck to her guns and followed God’s path for her, even though it meant her death,” she said.

Undertaking a journey of modesty isn’t just something for young women, according to Halibur, women of all ages can benefit from her movement. “I have had so many mothers and grandmothers come up to me asking for ideas not just their daughters and granddaughters, but for themselves as well,” she said.

In addition, Halibur discusses modesty issues with young men. “It is their reactions to what women are wearing that promotes this culture of lust that we are dealing with,” she said.

The dedicated young woman suggested that men compliment women on their modesty and encourage them to view their bodies as temples to God. “Women do listen to the reactions of the people around them. And I think with some positive reinforcement things will begin to change,” she said.

While she did admit that her dress and position on the issue of modesty often draws negative reactions from onlookers, she has tried to rise above it. “Many people peg my family and I as Mormons then are surprised when we say we are Roman Catholic,” she said. But more often than not, the family is bombarded with questions and requests. “So many people ask us where we get our clothes or what we mean by modesty,” she said.

Even though her modesty movement has been growing across the country, Halibur doesn’t really see herself as a role model. “All I’m trying to do is share the gifts that God has given to me,” she said. In addition to offering copies of her speech on purity, Halibur also offers a book full of modesty resources and literature. “It’s just my way of offering hope to the young women of the world,” she said.

The young woman also has been working on creating a Web site for members of the movement to access. “I hope to have the same resources that are currently offered in the guide, along with testimonials and other information about modesty issues,” she said.

When discussing the issue of modesty, Halibur suggested talking to girls early about the subject. “At a young age, girl’s minds are formed by what they see in the world. So that by the time they get to be teenagers, they don’t see anything wrong with the way they are dressed,” she said.
But if enough young women take up the cause of modesty, Halibur said change could occur. “We could set the trends and make a new world in which young women could feel comfortable in their skin,” she said.

The Value of Family

I have recently become acutely aware of how little people value the family. Even in conservative Christian homes among the youth, there is much talk of not getting married or of having one or no children after marriage. Most cite the burden of children or desires for a career as the basis of their reasoning. Another common thought is to wait a very long time after marriage to have any children.

Our own dear daughter has a friend who claimed that she only wanted one child, at which my daughter laughed and informed her that she would have as many children as God chose. How true. Despite all our efforts to have a large family, we only have one daughter. Others, despite their efforts to the contrary, are blessed with children. How much happier we would all be if we truly left these things in the hands of God.

We (my husband, daughter, and myself) love our little family, and we love our little home. Our daughter desires to be a keeper at home and have a family. This does not preclude her other interests of violin, history, and literature. These are joys and delights she intends to bring to her own family.

What is it about other families that they do not see family as something to be desired?

The Good Ol' Days

Here is a snapshot of my aunt, my grandmother, my mother, and me. I'm the one who looks like I'm ashamed to have my picture made, but actually, the sun was in my eyes, and my grandfather always took a long time to take a picture. :) If a group of ladies were dressed in this manner today (aside from the styles being very dated), one might say they were to attend a formal event. In those days (1960's), this is how we dressed to go shopping.

I loved to spend all day shopping with these women. We would go to the department store to shop and then have lunch in the store restaurant. The restaurant had real table cloths and linen napkins and china. It was always such a calming and happy sound to hear the tinkling of china and chatter of ladies. There was often an informal fashion show going on during lunch where models roamed from table to table wearing the latest dress, telling us where to find it and how much it cost. At one such restaurant, there was a circular stage where the models sometimes walked. One fine Saturday at lunch, we were fortunate enough to sit right next to the stage. I was so delighted that I did not resist the urge to climb up on the stage with the models, much to the embarrassment of my mother. :)

There aren't many places like that anymore, and women no longer dress in a beautiful way. We all don blue jeans and t-shirts, and our behavior tends to be equally common. We dine in fast food restaurants or in traffic and eat and drink out of styrofoam and plastic containers. Society is no longer civil or genteel. We no longer shop with friends or family, and we no longer know our neighbors. We lack beauty in our everyday lives.

I am blessed to have a daughter who loves to dress up to shopping or go have tea at our local English tea room (where they have the tablecloths & china!). But, what else can we do? Perhaps today would be a good day to bring a small bouquet of flowers to someone who needs cheering? Or, set a nice table for your family? Or, maybe take that step to dress a little more beautifully and act more gently?

What ideas do you have?

But I Don't Like Licorice

Chapter One of Spiritual Junkfood-The Dumbing Down of Christian Youth


The first chapter of this shocking and eye-opening book started off with enough information regarding the current state of Christian youth groups to startle most parents out of their figurative slumber. I have never been a big fan of the games that youth groups play in the name of Christian education, and we have been blessed that God has seen fit to protect our daughter thus far from the trivialization of God and His Word.

This first chapter details a small sampling of these games and explains both their origins and errors. Most of these games and exercises have their origin in humanistic ideas and have been used in public schools and colleges for some time. According to the authors, "to attempt to teach the sacred with the use of humanistic mind games while embracing trends and fads that the world has been using for the past thirty years or more, is to dethrone our God and insult His Holy Being." (32) Sound a bit harsh? Stayed tuned a bit longer.

One of the publishers youth group curricula, Gospel Light, claims they "believe it's a sin to bore a young person with the gospel." (24) Thus, the creation of role-playing passages of the gospels, such as the Mary and Joseph story in Matthew 1, soap-opera style! I believe that God is insulted by such. The authors correctly state that "dumbing down Scripture to suit what Group describes as an entertainment-learning culture serves to not only minimize the seriousness of sin and the Biblical account of the forgiveness by a holy God, but misses the mark entirely." (31)

One trend that has swept through the majority of churches today is that Sunday school teachers are no longer seen as instructors but as discussion moderators or facilitators. In such a setting, designed to encourage discussion, teachers typically refrain from correcting error, even errors as serious as outright heresy, in order to make the students feel more secure. What students really learn then is that there is no truth but their own truth. This type of environment is promoted by Youth Specialties (Zondervan). "Youth Specialities is running the danger of making skeptics out of our teens by telling them that 'each of them should be questioning their belief in God independently of their parents' faith.'" (23) These groups place experience on par with the Word of God when it comes to their version of correct doctrine.

This first chapter is packed full of many other examples of games and experiences going on in today's Christian youth groups that are designed to reshape their values, thinking, and faith. I won't detail them here, because you need to read the book. :) It is time for us to wake up and regain our position as keeper of the gates.

Does Shopping for Clothes Leave You a Little Depressed?

Shopping for clothes leaves my teenaged daughter very depressed because while a lot of clothes may be "cute", most of them are inappropriate and immodest. I don't want the world to know quite that much about my daughter, and, while I hate the idea of enforcing very rigid rules of dress, I find that guidelines are very necessary. The real problem for us seems to be finding items that fall within those guidelines and do not look frumpy or matronly. If we do find items that fit the descriptions of modest and cute, it doesn't fit the body or the budget. Oy!

Will we give in to today's slut-wear just because it is difficult to find clothes deemed acceptable by modest standards? Heaven forbid! If women desiring to be virtuous stoop to that level, to what level will the world (or young girls watching our example) stoop? Someone has to stand in the gap. Someone has to be the keeper of the gate. Will it be you?

The Beauty of Modesty

The Beauty of Modesty is a wonderful new book by David and Diane Vaughan. I found it to be biblical, thorough, enlightening, and challenging. While many books on the subject of modesty only delve into outward dress, this book starts with the heart issues because "if the heart is changed, then the body will follow."

The authors make certain that all aspects of modesty are discussed because "a woman (or man) may have her entire body covered and yet act or speak in an immodest way." Immodesty can rear its ugly head in the forms of ostentation, androgyny, sensuality, and brand name association.

The book explores reasons for immodesty among God's people and discusses way that we, as parents or leaders in the church, unknowingly foster immodesty in both dress and demeanor.

The Vaughans particularly study the causes of immodesty in the worship setting, citing the trivialization of God as being at the heart of this travesty. According to A.W. Tozer, "the low view of God entertained almost universally among Christians is the cause of a hundred lesser evils everywhere among us...It is impossible to keep our moral practices sound and our inward attitudes right while our idea of God is erroneous or inadequate." The Vaughans state that if we, as God's people, want to restore virtue in the church, we must first restore God as the center of all we do - privately and publicly.

We are called to be a people that is holy and set apart. We are to wear robes of righteousness. It is high time the people of God dressed and behaved like the people of God. This is definitely a MUST READ book.