Meaninglessness of Words Today

Today, there are more ways than ever to communicate with each other, and yet we seem to understand one another less with each new form of communication. It's no wonder; people do not say what they mean and they do not mean what they say. Words themselves have become almost meaningless as we skew them into forms and tenors for which they were never intended. It's no wonder that trust is such a rare commodity; we cannot even communicate with each other on a trustworthy level.

• In particular, the over use expletives (and one wonders when they are ever appropriate) has saturated our conversations and, upon careful examination, usually in ways which do not fit. For example, while a girl I know was watching a video clip of an amazing basketball shot, she exclaimed, "Dang!" Of course, I promptly questioned her as to why she should want to damn a young man or his athletic ability like that, because that is exactly what was uttered. As I'm sure you know, this was not her intent; nevertheless, that is what was spoken. Minced oaths are common today, and most haven't a clue as to the roots, origins, or true meaning of the words they utter.

• How many times have we heard the word "awesome" in reference to something that in no way evokes a sense of awe? Remember in the 70's how "bad" was really "good?" Adjectives such as "cool" and "hot" in reference to a person's attractiveness are unfortunately still floating around in conversations as well as many more explicit forms of inappropriately describing a person's desirability.

• Then there's texting and instant messaging and chat....how many of have typed out "lol" when we didn't actually laugh out loud? I don't even want to imagine what the spelling of the next generation will look like!

• How about the overuse and the overabundance of definitions of love? Or, the term "best friend" in reference to more than one person. I hate to inform my readers, but by definition there can only be one "best" friend. One may have many better friends, but only one best friend. When someone is awarded a "Best in Show" ribbon, I can assure you this is in reference to one and not multiple winners.

• Then there are the words which have been made up, such as gfunk, props, frack, ragemeister, and the like which fill slang dictionaries and widen the gap between generations and classes.

My goal for the day: to choose my words carefully

Speak No Evil

Lately, I have been very disheartened concerning the misuse of language and how it reflects upon the individual and society as a whole. I believe it points to an escalating level of disrespect or disregard for our fellow man and/or God. It is not my intention to go into detail about expletives, minced oaths or vulgarity because I am certain that your own imagination or past experiences can fill in the blanks more than is sufficient, nor is it my intention to lay ultimate blame on any one facet of society as there are many culprits involved. My concern is what should our reaction to this misuse be as Christians and how much of our own language needs correction or polishing. I believe that we are long overdue in taking a stand to not participate in any unwholesome conversation (Ephesians 4:29) and, in the very least, confronting those who take the name of our precious Lord in vain by politely asking that they refrain from doing so as it offends (or should offend) us. What are your thoughts?

Don't Twitter Away Your Life

Social networking utilities on the Internet are certainly mixed bags of blessings and cursings. As a general rule, facebook and myspace accounts only give its readers a very shallow and flat picture of ourselves, but occasionally it gives readers a glimpse into our hearts that they never expected to find, revealing new depths or the absence of character. While most status updates are worthless, silly glimpses into our lives, more often than not someone will make a statement that hurts feelings or rips someone's heart to its center. It always shocks me when I read those kind of unqualified statements which are generally directed at a particular person. This alone is enough to cause me to strongly dislike these networking or "gossip" tools. Some things are better left unsaid. We all need to be more careful that our behavior is God honoring....even over the Internet.

Where Have All the Men Gone?

Lately, I have been saddened by the lack of young men who are not afraid of responsibility or being faithful to honor their commitments...or even make a commitment. Guess what, ladies? It's largely our own fault. Even if you're not a femi-nazi out to conquer the world, you may have unconsciously had a hand in the disappearance of the true man. Here are a few things we ladies may need to consider taking on:

Stop enabling them! If a guy asks you to "hang-out" or says he will call you and then never contacts you about when & where; don't call, text, message, or contact him in anyway. This only encourages an avoidance of responsibility.

If a young man who proposes to you still lives at home, think twice about accepting him. Before a young man marries, in the best of all worlds, he needs to have proved that he can provide for you.

Stop man shopping. Proverbs 31 says "he who finds a wife" not "she who finds a husband." Do you really want a man you had to chase down? Young women pursuing young men encourages a passive male role in the relationship.

Stop the excessive flirting. Again, this puts you as the pursuer.

Dress modestly!!!! If you dress like a street walker, you're going to be treated like a street walker. If you dress for respect, you're more likely to receive respect. If you dress feminine, you are more likely to be treated as a lady.

Give guys a chance. Pause for a brief moment before opening a door; give him the chance to open it for you. Stand by your chair momentarily before being seated; allow him the opportunity to pull it out for you. This can be applied to SO many things.

Stop man bashing!!!! This is so unbecoming and no one really benefits from it.

Stop competing with men...even in conversation. No one likes to be "one up-ed" particularly in a group setting.

When you see a young man behaving like a man, praise or thank him! Positive reinforcement goes a long way.

Seek to serve your father, your brothers, and brothers in Christ in a way that honors and pleases God.

Be respectable in your behavior, without crude jesting. Be worthy of a man by being a godly woman.

Expletives

People (self included) use too many expletives today. I am not referring to bad language alone, but mainly to the use of filler language. Filler language consists of words that do not add any meaning to a sentence. For example:

Who left this stupid light on?

Why do we need such words to express ourselves? Lights are neither stupid nor intelligent.

The other use of expletives, of which I am guilty, is to express emotions through phrases such as the following:

Oh, brother!
Good grief!
My word!
Blast! ...and so on.

These phrases in and of themselves do not express any emotion, but rather the tone of voice with which we say them clues the listener in to our present mood. So why, other than habit, do we use these particular words and phrases?

I believe it is because we are not a thinking people. I believe we speak without taking the time to carefully choose and guard our words. I also believe it is because we are not well read; we, instead, watch mindless drivel on TV, resulting in our mimicking the language of said verbal twaddle.

I am culpable in the use of this blather, but I would like to change this. Perhaps, I should carry a thesauraus with me??? (visualize Mrs. Calla Lilly with a sly grin) Perhaps, the real answer is that I need to be more prayerful in regards to my speech.

Do We Truly Love Our Neighbor?

Do we love our neighbor if we dress sloppily or immodestly?

Do we love our neighbor if we do not show good manners?

Do we love our neighbor if we do not step out of our comfort zones in order to reach out to them?


Do we love our neighbor if our speech is vulgar or brash?





 

Lessons in (modest) fashion
Churchgoers walk the runway to show that cute doesn’t have to mean sexy
By Ron Knox
Thursday, May 4, 2006

The models here certainly walked the model walk — strolling down the runway, sashaying, turning their gaze side to side.
But at the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, 3655 W. 10th St., there was not an inch of shoulder flesh, not a hint of thigh.
Here, modesty was the rule.
“It’s helping the girls to be proud to be modest,” Kristie Hansen said, “to realize there’s beauty in modesty.”
Hansen and fellow church leaders put together the Modest Fashion Show at the church Wednesday night, hoping to spur interest in being fashionable without succumbing to the urge to wear what they described as “indecent” clothes.
Halter tops. Midriffs.
Anything that showed more than a girl’s arms and neck.
The whole idea was the brainchild of Michelle Hague, a Young Woman Leader at the Mormon church. To her, it isn’t about young women having a choice while hitting the racks at department stores.
While similar movements around the country have pressured big chain stores to sell less revealing clothing for social reasons — to promote healthy body types, mainly — that wasn’t the point for Hague.
To her, its about doing right religiously.
“We believe their bodies are gifts from God,” Hague said backstage.
Gifts, she said, that should not be on display for everyone to see. Sure, church rules dictate so, but for Hague it’s also about the way the girls may appear to guys.
“They’re giving the idea to the world that they’re that kind of girl,” Hague said.
That kind of girl? Isn’t that the guy’s problem?
Sure, Hague said, but the guys are part of the equation as well. To help keep boys in the church complacent, the girls need to hide the flesh, rather than keep it out for everyone to see.
So in the small gymnasium inside the church halls, junior high and high school girls stepped out on the runway wearing clothes that revealed little in the way of flesh.
Which is to say, they wore what many would wear on a stroll down Massachusetts Street — save for some late-night revelers. The majority of the girls wore hoodies and capri khakis, jeans and sandals.
All of this at the direction of church leaders. But the girls, for the most part, seemed to agree with the philosophy that modest meant better.
Liz Beisner, an 18-year-old, hit the modest runway wearing a typical outfit: a pair of jeans, a hooded T-shirt, moccasins.
“We’re just trying to show girls that there are cute things that are modest,” Beisner said.
To her, modest clothing equates to a religious belief. For others, it may be because of body insecurity, a rejection of physical stereotypes, a cold breeze, whatever.
She knows girls are going to wear what they want, she said. But the point is to offer a less revealing choice in clothing, and have girls still feel attractive while wearing them.
Walking along Massachusetts Street with some buddies earlier Wednesday, Alex Swanson, a 15-year-old student at Central Junior High School, said she felt about the same way.
Swanson said that everyone has different tastes in clothes for whatever reasons. She could appreciate that.
“I’d rather have options,” Swanson said.
Swanson’s friend, Akina Kashiwaya, agreed.
“That way,” she said, “you won’t be limited to what people expect either way.”

Acceptable Speech

I Corintians 13:1-3
If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3 If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing.

Gentle readers,

In this surreal world of blogging and message boards, it easy to forget that there is a real person reading your thoughts and words - a real person with feelings and convictions all their own. You do not know what is going on in that other person's life at present or their background or their level of maturity in the faith. Words are so very powerful and can do great damage without the speaker (or typist) even being aware of the outcome.

If you have a differing opinion, it is fine to state such, but in a loving way. To call someone (especially a commentor on a blog, rather than the blogger herself) "inconsistent" or state that they are not "using their Bible to form their beliefs" is to resort to name calling. If one has such strong opinions as to feel the need to express their opinions in such a bold way, perhaps he or she should start their own blog in order to let their voice be heard. Such comments will not be allowed here as they are not gracious or edifying to the Body of Christ.

Ephesians 4:1-3
I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, 2 with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, 3 eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.

Blessings and peace,
Calla Lilly

Watch Your Language!

Ephesians 4:29
Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.

Ephesians 5:4
Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving.

Colossians 3:8
But now you must put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth.

There are many things that I could say about today's Christians' conversation and speech - such as taking the Lord's name in vain, minced oaths, gossiping, lying by exaggeration, inappropriate use of words such as awesome..., but time and space will not allow for that at present.

What is on my mind at present is the crudeness with which so many of us choose to speak. It seems as though what is commonplace for the world, too often is commonplace for the children of God as well. Speech that is common, vulgar, or insulting does not belong to the person who is controlled by the Spirit of God. Included in this list are junior curse words, which mean the same thing as the grown-up versions. The notion of cleaning up one's vocabulary seems foreign or wholly unnecessary to the average Christian, but I suggest that we could each stand to step outside of ourselves (self included) and review our speech.

When someone pulls out in front of you traffic, what do you say? When you drop and egg on your newly mopped floor, what's the first word that comes to your mind? When you feel that you have received unfair treatment, what do you think?

Philippians 4:8
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.

Lost Art of Friendship

As a society, we have become very individualistic and self-oriented. We no longer care what others think (evidenced by our lack of good manners and sloppy dress), and we feel "good" about ourselves (thanks to all our dreadful self-esteem training in schools). We are also very lonely as a result.

In this society of self, we are able to blog exactly what we feel, think, and believe with relatively little challenge from others. We are able to do and say "what is right in our own eyes" similar to the Israelites in the Old Testament.

Am I against blogging? No, BUT...if that is your only or main source of friends, then I strongly suggest you plant yourself in a community (preferably a church) and grow some real roots. Blogs can be a good source of encouragement or creative ideas (as in Lady Lydia's blog) but you should not let it be your sole source for moral support. 

As social norms for clothing change, so do definitions of 'Sunday best'


By Erica Harms and Sammie Jo Barstow

Published: April 19, 2006

BIRMINGHAM, Ala. (ABP) -- Depending on where you worship, wearing your “Sunday best” to church today might not mean what it once did.

On Sunday mornings, more and more people are passing on dresses or ties and opting for blue jeans or khakis instead.

A dilemma now exists between the argument that casual clothing makes visitors feel welcome and the desire to dress in finer clothes out of respect for God’s house.

Harold Fanning, pastor of Shoal Creek Baptist Church in Decatur, Ala., said his church is more “business casual” than anything else. “Personally, I wear a suit on Sunday mornings, but I usually dress casual on Sunday evening -- more of a sport jacket, slacks and no tie,” he said.

But when Cecil Taylor, dean of the school of Christian studies at the University of Mobile, says he’s going casual, he’s going for a slightly different look. Taylor wears jeans to church and said he doesn’t mean any disrespect to God by doing so.

After all, Taylor recalled, David was anointed king of Israel after working in the fields.

In the biblical story, David’s divine appointment is preceded by God telling Samuel of other candidates, “The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”

“The important thing is to come before the Lord,” Taylor said. “I think whether I wear jeans or a three-piece suit is immaterial before the Lord.”

The definition of “casual” and how it’s worn is immaterial -- the real battle is against the suggestive clothing creeping into the churches, said Theresa Shadrix, a member of the Association of Image Consultants International.

“There is so much of the world in church today that we no longer stand out as a group of people by the way that we dress,” Shadrix said.

Shadrix, who is also co-director for Miss Jacksonville State University, has helped women of all ages find their style and motivate them to dress in a way that is both enjoyable and true to their religious convictions.

The moment that Shadrix gave her life to Christ at the age of 19, she said, not only did her heart change but so did the clothes her closet flaunted.

“I was not raised in a Christian home, so when I dedicated my life to Christ and married my Christian husband, I had to clean out my closet -- literally,” she said.

That was an issue that also concerned several women at First Baptist Church in Tuscaloosa. Bare midriffs, too-short skirts and strapless dresses were becoming common Sunday attire, they said. The women wondered if fashion and modesty could be combined.

To that end, they hosted a fashion show involving more than 70 models ranging in age from 18 months to 70-plus years. Ten vendors furnished everything from casual clothes to dressy suits and eveningwear.

“We wanted to show women, young and old, that we can be feminine, stylish and fashionable while still remaining modest in our dress,” Robin Ford, who coordinated the event, said.

“Although I don’t have a daughter, I do have a son, and I am concerned about the young women who will turn his head one day,” said Ford, who became concerned about inappropriate dress about three years ago. “I realized that modesty needs to be emphasized. And I believe the perfect organization to teach modesty to women is the one God created -- the church.”

Between segments of the fashion show, Barbara Gladney provided a Bible study emphasizing biblical guidelines on dress and encouraging women to value themselves and the image they portray as Christians.

For teens, that image is difficult because they get mixed signals about fashion from society and the church, said Shadrix, the image consultant.

Fanning, the Decatur pastor, said as long as his church’s teenagers aren’t wearing sexually inappropriate clothing, he is thankful to have them in church, however they are dressed. Students with body piercings may challenge the norm for church appearance. “But I’d rather have a kid looking like … he fell headfirst into a tackle box than out somewhere other than church,” he said.-30-

-- With reporting by the Alabama Baptist and Religion News Service.

Are You Clothed in Gentleness Today?

gen·tle (jntl) KEY

ADJECTIVE:
gen·tler , gen·tlest

Considerate or kindly in disposition; amiable and tender.
Not harsh or severe; mild and soft
Easily managed or handled; docile

For the Christian, gentleness is not an option; it is a mandate set forth in Scripture. The world is tough, rude, and brash, but we are to be different. Do we take the time to be considerate, or are we impatient and short? Are we easily managed or do others feel the need to "handle us with kid gloves"? Ask the Lord to clothe you in His gentleness today as you deal with others.

Hold Your Applause

 


Sound theology is sometimes as simple as good manners.

When I first met her she was a spirited feisty young teenager. I supposed she was born that way. When she was eight years old, her family attended a conference where her father was one of the speakers. One evening there was a musical program during which the enthusiastic leader encouraged, "Let's give God a hand." At that she got up and began to walk toward the exit. Her surprised father reached her before she fulfilled her intention.

"What are you doing?" he inquired.

"I'm leaving," she firmly replied.

"But," he reasoned, "wouldn't that be rude?"

"Well," she clenched her argument, "they're being rude to God!"

The family followed her out.

As a college student today she knows it gets a lot worse. People aren't just flippantly "giving God a hand." In many services they routinely give each other a hand, especially in response to musical offerings.

Ministers will note that the practice has not caught on as a response to sermons. Perhaps we will have to install applause signs in our sanctuaries (or "worship centers" as they're now called) before people will get the idea. Then we'll have to learn to pause until the clapping subsides.

In this context, it's a pleasant surprise to hear a word of sanity from the secular priestess of manners, Judith Martin. In Miss Manners Rescues Civilization, she answers a question about applause in church with, "Having forgotten church manners, people are substituting those that would be proper for a performance...Hard as it may be to imagine, musicians in church are supposed to play or sing for the glory of God, not the pleasure of the congregation (which people interestingly slip and call 'the audience'). That is why there should be no applause in church. Not even for small children, who particularly need to have the purpose of the performance explained to them."

In response to the protest that the Bible authorizes clapping (as is Psalm 47:1), Miss Manners proves herself a better theologian than many evangelical worship leaders. "Where," she asks, "is the Biblical reference by which God commands applause to honor musicians...?"

Miss Manners hopes she is not pressing too fine a point when she distinguishes between the clapping of hands as an "expression of religious awe or joy and the clapping of hands to denote approval and appreciation for the achievements of our fellow mortals."

The specific problem Miss Manners addresses is the tip of the iceberg of worship malpractice. Too many evangelical worshipers are like the man shopping for his wife's Christmas present and choosing something which pleases himself. So we go to church expecting to be soothed, entertained and sent home feeling good.

It hardly occurs to us to ask, "What will please God?" The subjects, not the Object of worship, are the focus. The result is that we no longer know how to conduct ourselves in God's house. We lack worship manners or even the sense that we need them.

If you invite me to your home, I'll come with my manners, which are both attitude (I respect you) and actions (I'll conform to the expectation of your household).

What attitudes should you bring to worship? God wants exuberant joy (Psalm 100:1-2) and reverent awe (Hebrews 12:28-29).

What actions does He approve in worship? Singing, praying, reading and preaching His Word, testifying to and confessing our faith, giving offerings, celebrating sacraments and making holy vows.

If you think worship manners are no big deal, you might check out the story of two Old Testament fellows who forgot their manners and lost their lives because, "Among those who approach me, I will show myself holy; in the sight of all the people I will be honored" (Leviticus 10:1-7).
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By William Smith. Reprinted with permission from World magazine, August 31, 1996