Sunday, June 05, 2011

On Being Cranky....

I try to not be one of those people that others cringe when they see them coming, but sometimes I don't just fear that I am one of those people, I KNOW that I am one of those people.  Honestly, I really do try to work on it.  I am most often the person you would like to avoid when I am shopping.  I don't start out my shopping trips that way, but give me a grocery basket and suddenly I morph into Maxine.  Knowing and owning this about myself, I try to shop far enough away from my home that I won't run into unsuspecting victims, I mean friends.  Just this last week, I went to Publix in Ooletewah (my favorite place to shop) and it was one of those times when I wasn't quite sure of everything I needed, what was on sale, or what coupons I had in my coupon file, so I was a little a foggy headed....never a good sign.  It was also a Saturday, which meant the store was more crowded, but I had worked during the week and we needed food...or at least caffeine in the house.  I didn't even get past the first food display when I found myself morphing into Maxine.  I saw that Cheerios were on sale, and I remembered I had a coupon as well.  I was so excited that I had  been there that day because the coupon expired that day as well.  But, as God would have it, there was a woman standing right in front of the Cheerios, blocking me from getting what I wanted.  I waited "patiently"....not.  I thought to myself, "I wish that woman would hurry up and move.  How long does it take to grab a box of cereal and move on???"  Then, I looked at the woman's frame....hmmm, she looks familiar....hmmm, her hair looks familiar too....hey! that's (insert the name of an elder's wife from church)!  I felt so embarrassed that my Maxine persona had such impatient and cranky thoughts about someone I knew and liked.  Every time I ran into her in the store yesterday, I felt convicted about my attitudes and thought patterns as I shopped.  I think I'm a nice person, but I own up to being a bit of a control freak....especially when it comes to grocery shopping and my kitchen....and my work environment....and which way the toilet paper should hang...OKAY, I'M A CONTROL FREAK; I GET IT.  I like to take my time in the store, check the unit price of grocery items, check for coupons, see which item is actually the best deal, check the ingredients to try to purchase food that's actually good for us.  I put my groceries on the conveyor belt in the order that I want them bagged, so that when I get home, it's easier to put things away.  I really prefer to bag my groceries myself because no one seems to get it right.  Canned goods with produce??? Really????  I like to take my groceries to the car myself because I like to put my cold things in a cooler....remember I don't shop near my home because I know I'm a bit of a handful.  I try to bite my tongue, and most of the time I do, but I know it shows on my face.  I know this because I've shopped with my mom....enough said.  But as my husband reminded me this morning impatience with others or situations is really impatience with God. OUCH!!!!  This is so true.  God is completely sovereign over every situation....over every molecule in the universe....or He isn't really God.  God has a purpose and a plan for me and He uses all these little frustrations in my life to mold me into not only into one who glorifies Him better but also into someone who enjoys Him better.  I need to be able to look at each and every person in the store as someone whom God created in His image, as someone to whom I can/should show God's love.  So, if you see me out shopping, don't I know that will be your first instinct after reading this.  I really do want to be yielded to God and his plan for my life down to the minutest detail.  I want God to be in control, not me.

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