Thursday, April 08, 2010

Set Standards Against Foul Language


This open letter responds to Her Highness Anonymous. At #885 she asked: “How does one go about setting standards such as ‘not using foul language’? I think if I were to ask someone not to swear in front of me, they would think I am crazy (I’m in college).”

The secret is: Don’t ask. Don’t expect to change the world. Expect to change yourself to preserve and protect your female sensibilities. These suggestions may help:

1. Retreat from words and behaviors that offend your sensibilities. Until you can do so courteously, purposely ignore spouters of filth or whatever and then move on without comment. Not easy in college life made outrageously boisterous with newfound freedom from authority figures.
2. Straighten out your own mind. Determine what’s of value to you and commit yourself to upholding it against everything and everybody. You first have to learn to be offended, to be turned off by vulgarities and offending behaviors. If not quite there yet, upgrade your expectations.
3. You needn’t tell someone not to be vulgar in front of you. Simply break off from the situation with no more than a courteous goodbye or dismissal. Don’t stimulate a confrontation. Don’t complain, don’t explain. Let them, especially men, figure you out. Mystery always helps females, because it earns masculine respect. When men conclude their vulgarity offends you, they will quit or tone down proportional to their respect for you and your presence. (Men love to fulfill ideas and conclusions drawn from figuring out some mystery.)
4. Quietly and unpredictably depart their company when people turn vulgar. It puts you in control of your life, which discourages depression. If you accept without contrary action the standards to which you’re exposed in college, people will automatically assume you have no higher standards. In effect, you’re just like them, and they’ll expect you to never deviate from their opinions. Do you want to be like them or someone else you admire more, such as yourself?
5. When you’re called crazy or worse, it takes guts to persist with extreme loyalty to yourself. However, think long term. Persistence earns respect, and more respect for you reduces vulgarity and name calling by others.
6. If your need to be accepted or popular overrides your personal preferences for civility, courtesy, and pleasantness, then your standards and expectations will decline. We all become like those with whom we associate.
7. People who shape opinions and influence others often appear crazy at first. If you purposely avoid appearing different, being called names, or finding things up to which you will stand against others, then you turn yourself passive for life.
8. Accept loneliness as companion to your soul even if not acceptable to your worldly self. College life is all about avoiding or escaping loneliness, and you should be able to find other ways than having your sensibilities attacked.

EDITORIAL COMMENT: Elsewhere in this blog you’ll read that girls civilize boys and single women settle men down to help fulfill female hopes and dreams. For five decades American girls and women have progressively declined to do so. Teen and college males spread ever more offensive, tasteless, foul, gross, vulgar, ill-mannered, rude, and crude language and behaviors. With the supervisory role of females abandoned especially on campus, men later in life show little regard for female- and family-friendly values.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

You know what drives me crazy? When men (and some women for that matter) have absolutely NO discretion when it comes to foul language in front of women and especially children.

The terrible thing is I'm guilty of it too!!! When my 3 year old got his leg stuck in his pants as he was trying to remove them and muttered, "dammit" I knew I was the one to blame.